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Sep 19, 2013

17 Ways "Rent" Lied To You About Life

Pro tip: Avoid paying several years' worth of rent by singing loudly about it.

1. This is not an accurate metric for timekeeping.

2. You can't do this in restaurants.

3. Your neighbor is not this hot.

REX USA/Tony Kyriacou

And no power outage will ever be this perfectly timed.

4. Your ~loft~ will never be this big.

Flickr: lindsayloveshermac

Granted, it was a different time, but good luck finding a shoebox for under $2000 in Alphabet City now.

5. ...especially once you make this (objectively ridiculous) declaration.

canado.tumblr.com

In the immortal words of David Rakoff (whose brilliant piece inspired this and which you should listen to immediately because there is nothing like his voice), "My only question is, well, why aren't you going to pay this year's rent? It seems that they're not going to pay this year's rent because rent is for losers and non-creative types. Rent is for suits." Fair.

6. Flirting is way harder than this.

cafepress.com

Unless you look like Mimi.

7. NOT ALLOWED.

FIRE.

8. NEITHER IS THIS.

9. MEDICALLY INACCURATE.

10. THIS TOO.

rentheadsunite.tumblr.com

A fun game is to imagine her body saying that in a weird helium-filled voice.

11. What kind of monster would drive a lil muffin like this to her eventual suicide?

cutepuppies-dog.blogspot.com

Long live Akitas, no matter how yappy.

12. Filming one riot isn't quite enough to propel you to sellout-level celebrity.

victoriavamp94.tumblr.com

Idk, Mark, get an iPhone and stop whining so much?

13. You really can't order all this with no intention of paying.

14. Nor this.

Shutterstock.

15. No subway dance could ever be this well-choreographed/not annoying to fellow passengers.

16. No relationship could ever achieve this level of perfection.

John Vecchiolla for WESTCHESTER BROADWAY THEATRE / Via broadwayworld.com

<3 <3 <3

17. No group of friends could have this much romantic dramz and still totally love each other.

REX USA/Tony Kyriacou

But when it counts, the show sure knows how to point out the important stuff.

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