Quiz

BuzzFeed Staff

Nifty

You'll either feel the satisfaction of tending to a living thing besides yourself, or you'll become a heartless bearer of death.

Can You Choose The Right Houseplant?

I know, I know: succulents are wildly popular and impossible to kill, right? WRONG. You'll bring this guy home, stick him on some windowsill or shelf, and go about your business, so pleased with yourself for finally achieving some small signifier of adulthood. And then you'll come back in a couple of weeks and he'll be stretching helplessly toward the sun, ungainly and pathetic, just as we all do in this never-ending march toward the grave :<   
(Also tbh succulents have had their moment. Onward.)

Wrong plant

It would more efficient for you to go into the street and gather a collection of random dead leaves to sprinkle throughout your house. Oh, and leave (at least) $200 out there on the curb while you're at it.

This lil guy is practically TOO easy to keep alive; don't you want a little more of a challenge? It's like that person in your phone who you KNOW will always be down to meet up with you and as a result you want to hang out less. With greater effort comes greater reward. Write that down.

Whoa-ho-ho! Didn't know we were dealing with the Queen of England over here! I'm sorry, your majesty, for besmirching your dainty eyes with mine humble BuzzFeed quiz; away with me to the guillotine, and may your day no longer be sullied by interactions with riffraff.

A very terrying bug lives in this pot. You've been warned.

This snake plant (otherwise known as "Viper's bowstring hemp" or "mother-in-law's-tongue," which, rad) will be with you in silent partnership for as long as you both so choose. It'll see you through your triumphs and your trials, your heartbreaks and your moments of joy so great you'll think they belong in someone else's life. It will ask nothing of you besides occasional attention, enough to make you feel like even when you're at your lowest, you can still cause something in this world to thrive. I'm so happy you've found each other at last.

The right plant!

Look, love an air plant, but really, calling these things "plants" is like referring to a Beanie Baby as your "cat." Sprinkle 'em throughout your house if you must, but supplement with something that'll give you more joy than a sexed-up tumbleweed.

I may not agree with or understand you, but I sure as hell respect you.

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Can You Choose The Right Houseplant?

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