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Don't talk to me right now.
Not only will it burn calories and unleash a heaping dose of oxytocin, you'll feel totally smug for the rest of the day.
Buy it here.
Like a video game IRL.
But for the love of Bob, BE CAREFUL.
The smell and the promise of caffeine-y goodness will coax you out of bed, as well as eliminate one little task.
Blowfish claims to "address multiple hangover symptoms at once — headache, upset stomach, and fatigue." Can't be worse than sitting in the shower while your head throbs.
Sleepytime and Sleep Cycle (also available for Android) are solid choices.
It'll speed your metabolism and help rehydrate you after a long night of NO LIQUIDS AT ALL.
(And this is ~not~ scientific but if you try to go back to sleep after that, chances are you'll have to pee and be forced out of bed anyway.)
Bonus if you make all five outfits over the weekend, but the night before works too.
Or anything that you can't possibly leave the house without.
The drawback here is that you might forget your lunch as well as the sole way to access your house/car. Live on the edge.
Although if you're attempting to drink a full mug of unground coffee beans, you might need more z's.
This is not so much a trick as a side effect; bringing a squalling poop factory into your life is a surefire way to never (be able to) laze around in bed again.
Available here.