Make it look like you're wicked busy and important.
Use a piece of Scotch tape to clean your keyboard.
Reupholster a boring desk chair.
Make quick and easy iced coffee using the office hot brew.
Use binder clips to keep all your cords neat.
Or use a kitchen basket to secure cords on the underside of your desk.
Fix a scuffed shoe with a Sharpie.
Make your stapler detachable so you can staple in the middle of sheets.
Clip your coffee cup to the edge of your desk to save space.
Make drawer organizers from cardboard or cereal boxes.
Air horns + office chairs = minutes and minutes of gleeful cackling at the expense of your coworkers.
Same with jeans and shoes.
Add a pocket to a tie for secret and convenient storage.
Store small office supplies in a cheap spice rack.
Make eating at your desk even easier with pen cap utensils.
Ensure that nobody ever steals your sandwich from the communal fridge again.
Or forgo dealing with the fridge entirely.
Try a sponge as a genius alternative to an ice pack in your lunch.
Use a spring to keep a papers organized.
Replace your boring water cooler with something more interesting.
Clean up crumbs with a mini USB vacuum.
Keep a pair of reflective sunglasses on your desk so you can tell when someone is coming up behind you.
And if you're being monitored yourself, show that camera what's what.
Use a connector cord to run your headphones under your desk instead of over your keyboard.
Take a leaf out of George Costanza's book and make a desk-bed.
In the winter, keep a decoy jacket on your chair so nobody can tell when you sneak out early.
Eke out the last bits of ink from a seemingly empty cartridge.
Keep yourself on a water-drinking schedule.