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The 17 Worst Crimes Ever Perpetrated Against Jorts

They don't deserve this treatment.

17. This abomination against America.

The LEGS aren't even the SAME LENGTH.
reddit.com

The LEGS aren't even the SAME LENGTH.

16. This eternal struggle.

My jorts so short you can see the pockets hanging out the bottom #tough

Colin@cwelzz

My jorts so short you can see the pockets hanging out the bottom #tough

1:45 PM - 28 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

15. These stock photo jorts.

This is a result when you search "woman" + "plumber." Accurate.
AndreyPopov / Via iStock / 360

This is a result when you search "woman" + "plumber." Accurate.

14. These way-too-tight jorts.

Jorts.com is a veritable treasure trove of jortsy gems like this.
jorts.com

Jorts.com is a veritable treasure trove of jortsy gems like this.

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13. These fringed monstrosities.

This is like if Coachella died and came back to life as a pair of $38 leg coverings.
Urban Outfitters / Via thefashionpolice.net

This is like if Coachella died and came back to life as a pair of $38 leg coverings.

12. These DDR jorts.

Cool knees.
jorts.com

Cool knees.

11. These swimwear jorts.

10. This self-jortsing attempt that can only end in bloodshed.

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9. These acid-wash jort-all nightmares.

Love Melrose / Via wheretoget.it

8. These terrifying Halloween jorts.

7. These poor abandoned jorts.

6. And these legs left out in the cold to die.

They could have become SO MANY THINGS.
reddit.com

They could have become SO MANY THINGS.

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5. This denim diaper.

DADS, NO.
reddit.com

DADS, NO.

4. This jorts jockstrap.

3. This inspirational message.

Whatcha touchin' there, pal?
reddit.com

Whatcha touchin' there, pal?

2. Tobias Fünke

Okay, hear me out: Tobias is obviously iconic and perfect BUT he's not exactly great PR for jorts. If you don't believe me, here is a thought experiment: look at the above gifs and imagine how they smell. Take a biiiiiig mind-whiff. Right? Right.

1. This.

RIP all of us.
etsy.com

RIP all of us.

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