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    Here's The Leonardo DiCaprio Movie We Should Really Be Talking About

    Forget The Revenant, it's all about The Man In the Iron Mask.

    Yes, I know, Leonardo DiCaprio could win a ~long-awaited Oscar~ this year for crawling and grunting a lot in The Revenant. BIG DEAL.

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    There is something crucial missing from our discussions of Leo and the mark he's left on this here world.

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    Yes.

    With the exception of Titanic, seminal classic The Man In the Iron Mask is clearly the most important film Leo has ever graced with his presence.

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    I mean, come on, Leo plays TWINS. One of whom is King Louis XIV.

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    Or, rather, Draco Malfoy fan fiction of King Louis XIV. The other twin is some dude named Philippe, Louis' brother who at one point...also becomes King Louis XIV.

    *Stefon voice* This movie has EVERYTHING.

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    LOOK AT THE ACTING HAPPENING HERE.

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    This is a movie in which literally everyone is always in a fascinating wig.

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    Including and especially Hugh Laurie!

    And in which all of the actors talk in, just, like, their native accents? Except for Gabriel Byrne for some reason?

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    Gerard Depardieu has a French accent because he's Gerard Depardieu. John Malkovich has an American accent. Jeremy Irons has a British accent. And Gabriel Byrne is Irish but does an English accent I guess because he can?

    Leo is literally the KING OF FRANCE with a Jack Dawson American accent. We as a society have yet to fully unpack this in the way that it deserves.

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    And the Three Musketeers are there, because why not!

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    Granted, there are four of them. Eventually five.

    And, fine, the ~acting~ Leo was tasked with for this film was less physically gross than The Revenant. BUT IT WAS JUST AS PURE.

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    You don't need to eat a raw bison liver to tug at our hearts, son.

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    We must hold this movie close to the bosom of our cultural memory.

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    Do it for Leo's flouncy hat. Do it for his crown.

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    DO IT FOR THE UPHOLSTERY ALONE.

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    Just...remember, Oscar voters. Remember.

    http://whitepeopleclapping.tumblr.com/post/109882417792/me-when-bitches-tryna-raise-their-voice-at-me
    http://whitepeopleclapping.tumblr.com/post/109882417792/me-when-bitches-tryna-raise-their-voice-at-me
    http://whitepeopleclapping.tumblr.com/post/109882417792/me-when-bitches-tryna-raise-their-voice-at-me

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