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Here's The Leonardo DiCaprio Movie We Should Really Be Talking About

Forget The Revenant, it's all about The Man In the Iron Mask.

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Yes, I know, Leonardo DiCaprio could win a ~long-awaited Oscar~ this year for crawling and grunting a lot in The Revenant. BIG DEAL.

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There is something crucial missing from our discussions of Leo and the mark he's left on this here world.

Yes.
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Yes.

With the exception of Titanic, seminal classic The Man In the Iron Mask is clearly the most important film Leo has ever graced with his presence.

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I mean, come on, Leo plays TWINS. One of whom is King Louis XIV.

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Or, rather, Draco Malfoy fan fiction of King Louis XIV. The other twin is some dude named Philippe, Louis' brother who at one point...also becomes King Louis XIV.

*Stefon voice* This movie has EVERYTHING.

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LOOK AT THE ACTING HAPPENING HERE.

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This is a movie in which literally everyone is always in a fascinating wig.

Including and especially Hugh Laurie!
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Including and especially Hugh Laurie!

And in which all of the actors talk in, just, like, their native accents? Except for Gabriel Byrne for some reason?

Gerard Depardieu has a French accent because he's Gerard Depardieu. John Malkovich has an American accent. Jeremy Irons has a British accent. And Gabriel Byrne is Irish but does an English accent I guess because he can?
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Gerard Depardieu has a French accent because he's Gerard Depardieu. John Malkovich has an American accent. Jeremy Irons has a British accent. And Gabriel Byrne is Irish but does an English accent I guess because he can?

Leo is literally the KING OF FRANCE with a Jack Dawson American accent. We as a society have yet to fully unpack this in the way that it deserves.

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And the Three Musketeers are there, because why not!

Granted, there are four of them. Eventually five.
United Artists

Granted, there are four of them. Eventually five.

And, fine, the ~acting~ Leo was tasked with for this film was less physically gross than The Revenant. BUT IT WAS JUST AS PURE.

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You don't need to eat a raw bison liver to tug at our hearts, son.

United Artists

We must hold this movie close to the bosom of our cultural memory.

United Artists

Do it for Leo's flouncy hat. Do it for his crown.

United Artists
United Artists

DO IT FOR THE UPHOLSTERY ALONE.

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Just...remember, Oscar voters. Remember.

http://whitepeopleclapping.tumblr.com/post/109882417792/me-when-bitches-tryna-raise-their-voice-at-me
http://whitepeopleclapping.tumblr.com/post/109882417792/me-when-bitches-tryna-raise-their-voice-at-me
http://whitepeopleclapping.tumblr.com/post/109882417792/me-when-bitches-tryna-raise-their-voice-at-me

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