29 Hilarious Tweets From The Week Because Humor Makes The World Go Round

    "You'll be fighting for your life financially then get invited to a birthday dinner." —@Cairo_Mathebula

    Hello and good morning/afternoon/evening from me, the person who makes these roundups:

    my co-workers be giving their 100% and i be on twitter😭😭😭

    — gen🥂 (@genmxn) March 22, 2024
    Twitter: @genmxn

    I hope you had a good week and didn't waste too much time on X, formerly Twitter (like me). If you didn't, congrats! I did all the "work" for you! Here are all the funniest tweets from last week:

    1.

    you guys. please take care of ur mental health because the most evil people i know study psychology im so serious rn

    — Kira (@mycatmisu) March 18, 2024
    Twitter: @mycatmisu

    2.

    "I don't get why you set so many alarms"

    congrats on being able to rocket back to existence every morning but some of us have to be gradually raised from the depths like the remains of an ancient shipwreck being brought to the surface

    — Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) March 23, 2024
    Twitter: @VeryBadLlama

    3.

    Never again 💔 pic.twitter.com/7z3QrutjyQ

    — D I M A (@Lush_Beauty1) March 18, 2024
    Twitter: @Lush_Beauty1

    4.

    This made my day. Lol pic.twitter.com/mdGS8Ni0cK

    — Juice (@DjWalt_) March 22, 2024
    Twitter: @DjWalt_

    5.

    I was taking a rideshare today and thought the driver said something to me but he was like “no no I was talking to Patricio” and then plopped Patricio down on the dashboard pic.twitter.com/2MUvPYC9YZ

    — Eugene V. D.E.B.S. (2004) (@sarahwaters420) March 22, 2024
    Twitter: @sarahwaters420

    6.

    My son just called Yale "Yalé" like he's Pitbull or something and now I'm rooting hard for them.

    — Brody Logan (@BrodyLogan) March 22, 2024
    Twitter: @BrodyLogan

    7.

    told bestie i work a double today and they said “what’s a double?” aw don’t worry about it kitten 💜 just some working class vocabulary that’s all!

    — Ugly Beckty (@beckyvenus) March 18, 2024
    Twitter: @beckyvenus

    8.

    You’ll be fighting for your life financially then get invited to a birthday dinner.

    — Cairo Mathebula (@Cairo_Mathebula) March 23, 2024
    Twitter: @Cairo_Mathebula

    9.

    feels terrible trying to arrange something for your birthday doesn't it. snivelling. 'pretty please hang out with me for my personal special day 🥺 im 32 btw'. horrible. great when other people invite me to the pub for their birthdays though.

    — bruce bogbutter (@dorkusmalorkus_) March 20, 2024
    Twitter: @dorkusmalorkus_

    10.

    suddenly it’s “keep the change” and “want me to buy it for u?” enfjsjfjdjf god pls https://t.co/Ol17tTESo4

    — ollsss (✯◡✯) 🇵🇸 (@k_illua) March 24, 2024
    Twitter: @k_illua

    11.

    There’s always a white guy at the bonfire who really fucks with keeping the fire going and I respect that

    — ttyd (@atousl) March 19, 2024
    Twitter: @atousl

    12.

    i got into a car accident when i was 19 and i called my dad and he said "well i don't know what you should do cause i don't really get in those. that's just me"

    — album in like 5 days (@poisonjr) March 21, 2024
    Twitter: @poisonjr

    13.

    i have a guy in my dms that periodically checks in to see if im still in a relationship pic.twitter.com/uJ2mVDWVTD

    — steph 😌 (@stephiecortez) March 19, 2024
    Twitter: @stephiecortez

    14.

    when he holds ur thigh while driving >>> pic.twitter.com/cJcuRkRoXh

    — Invis🧜‍♀️ (@invis4yo) March 23, 2024
    Twitter: @invis4yo

    15.

    “Where’s the Pride flag?”

    “Fu*k knows. Just put out the Twister mat.” pic.twitter.com/dWRM06c1bk

    — Out of Context Human Race (@NoContextHumans) March 23, 2024
    Twitter: @NoContextHumans

    16.

    One of my colleagues has one of those really arrogant personalities but in a very endearing way. I asked him why he’s smiling and he just went “what’s there not to be happy about? I’m 28, extremely good looking, got abs, a sick job, and a fit gf” 😂😂

    — C (@brandypapii) March 20, 2024
    Twitter: @brandypapii

    17.

    You think I would be applying for an APARTMENT if I made 4x the rent huh????? Huh you stupid bitch ????

    — #sexyasf (@isisluvv) March 22, 2024
    Twitter: @isisluvv

    18.

    roommates … the coworkers of the home

    — sophia (@pastoralcomical) March 20, 2024
    Twitter: @pastoralcomical

    19.

    Universities are funny. Hey what if we took a medieval institution for training priests and aristocrats and combined it w a hedge fund, sports franchise and resort for teenagers

    Oh and it'll be the backbone for fundamental research for our entire civilization

    — Jake (@JLBornstein) March 20, 2024
    Twitter: @JLBornstein

    20.

    Why my little sister get her first job interview and tell the interviewer she don’t like talking to people 😭😭😭😭😭

    — Lovergirl Challiebear ʚ♡ɞ (@challxn) March 20, 2024
    Twitter: @challxn