29 Hilarious Tweets From The Week Because Humor Makes The World Go Round
"You'll be fighting for your life financially then get invited to a birthday dinner." —@Cairo_Mathebula
Hello and good morning/afternoon/evening from me, the person who makes these roundups:
my co-workers be giving their 100% and i be on twitter😭😭😭
— gen🥂 (@genmxn) March 22, 2024
I hope you had a good week and didn't waste too much time on X, formerly Twitter (like me). If you didn't, congrats! I did all the "work" for you! Here are all the funniest tweets from last week:
1.
you guys. please take care of ur mental health because the most evil people i know study psychology im so serious rn
— Kira (@mycatmisu) March 18, 2024
2.
"I don't get why you set so many alarms"
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) March 23, 2024
congrats on being able to rocket back to existence every morning but some of us have to be gradually raised from the depths like the remains of an ancient shipwreck being brought to the surface
3.
Never again 💔 pic.twitter.com/7z3QrutjyQ
— D I M A (@Lush_Beauty1) March 18, 2024
4.
This made my day. Lol pic.twitter.com/mdGS8Ni0cK
— Juice (@DjWalt_) March 22, 2024
5.
I was taking a rideshare today and thought the driver said something to me but he was like “no no I was talking to Patricio” and then plopped Patricio down on the dashboard pic.twitter.com/2MUvPYC9YZ
— Eugene V. D.E.B.S. (2004) (@sarahwaters420) March 22, 2024
6.
My son just called Yale "Yalé" like he's Pitbull or something and now I'm rooting hard for them.
— Brody Logan (@BrodyLogan) March 22, 2024
7.
told bestie i work a double today and they said “what’s a double?” aw don’t worry about it kitten 💜 just some working class vocabulary that’s all!
— Ugly Beckty (@beckyvenus) March 18, 2024
8.
You’ll be fighting for your life financially then get invited to a birthday dinner.
— Cairo Mathebula (@Cairo_Mathebula) March 23, 2024
9.
feels terrible trying to arrange something for your birthday doesn't it. snivelling. 'pretty please hang out with me for my personal special day 🥺 im 32 btw'. horrible. great when other people invite me to the pub for their birthdays though.
— bruce bogbutter (@dorkusmalorkus_) March 20, 2024
10.
suddenly it’s “keep the change” and “want me to buy it for u?” enfjsjfjdjf god pls https://t.co/Ol17tTESo4
— ollsss (✯◡✯) 🇵🇸 (@k_illua) March 24, 2024
11.
There’s always a white guy at the bonfire who really fucks with keeping the fire going and I respect that
— ttyd (@atousl) March 19, 2024
12.
i got into a car accident when i was 19 and i called my dad and he said "well i don't know what you should do cause i don't really get in those. that's just me"
— album in like 5 days (@poisonjr) March 21, 2024
13.
i have a guy in my dms that periodically checks in to see if im still in a relationship pic.twitter.com/uJ2mVDWVTD
— steph 😌 (@stephiecortez) March 19, 2024
14.
when he holds ur thigh while driving >>> pic.twitter.com/cJcuRkRoXh
— Invis🧜♀️ (@invis4yo) March 23, 2024
15.
“Where’s the Pride flag?”
— Out of Context Human Race (@NoContextHumans) March 23, 2024
“Fu*k knows. Just put out the Twister mat.” pic.twitter.com/dWRM06c1bk
16.
One of my colleagues has one of those really arrogant personalities but in a very endearing way. I asked him why he’s smiling and he just went “what’s there not to be happy about? I’m 28, extremely good looking, got abs, a sick job, and a fit gf” 😂😂
— C (@brandypapii) March 20, 2024
17.
You think I would be applying for an APARTMENT if I made 4x the rent huh????? Huh you stupid bitch ????
— #sexyasf (@isisluvv) March 22, 2024
18.
roommates … the coworkers of the home
— sophia (@pastoralcomical) March 20, 2024
19.
Universities are funny. Hey what if we took a medieval institution for training priests and aristocrats and combined it w a hedge fund, sports franchise and resort for teenagers
— Jake (@JLBornstein) March 20, 2024
Oh and it'll be the backbone for fundamental research for our entire civilization
20.
Why my little sister get her first job interview and tell the interviewer she don’t like talking to people 😭😭😭😭😭
— Lovergirl Challiebear ʚ♡ɞ (@challxn) March 20, 2024
21.
A COONCHIE SHAWL I DONE SEEN IT AWL https://t.co/YAPZJCXpJu
— Ichigo Niggasake (@SomaKazima) March 21, 2024
22.
just realized every time we go out to get food and come back home to eat it we are hunting and gathering……… pic.twitter.com/N7lHAeJCIN
— 🪐✧ Ty’Ren ✧🪽 (@tyrentillett) March 23, 2024
23.
does anyone have any good food recommendations for somebody just getting into groceries
— sophist (@no_sophist) March 21, 2024
24.
Dad just learned about Hot Ones pic.twitter.com/lWlTMjGf4n
— ¢orie (@corietjohnson) March 22, 2024
25.
call this sunscreen an oscar nominated movie the way it has a white cast
— jaipers (@jaiijaji) March 22, 2024
26.
me yelling uno with 25 cards up my ass pic.twitter.com/qGDTRsFlLM
— rose ﾒ𝟶 (@dwrosee) March 22, 2024
27.
All of us after joking about Kate Middleton pic.twitter.com/VXC9fDjmXA
— RuPaul (@rupauwl) March 22, 2024
28.
was swiping on tinder and some girl behind me said “swipe he’s cute” pic.twitter.com/9KdtogPyrk
— ❒ (@RlCKYRAGE) March 23, 2024
29.
this video is like cocomelon to me. it feels so soothing on my tiny brain https://t.co/Mk6Z4rFtuF
— mitch mitchell (@czarmitch) March 21, 2024
That's a wrap for this week's roundup...
at the end of the day, the day gotta end pic.twitter.com/X9jMW5TCDz
— wiLL (@willfulchaos) March 23, 2024