There Are Many Things Wrong With The World, But These 32 Funny Tweets From Last Week Are Not One Of 'Em

    "Being a baby must be scary, imagine sleeping at home & you wake up at TJMAXX." —@xigotsoul

    In case you're new here, every week, we round up all the funny tweets from the week. Admittedly, some weeks are drier than others, but this week was nooot one of them.

    So, let's jump right into 'em and get ya laughin':


    pls take care of y’all selves bc we got a whole bunch of dumb btches going into nursing

    — NEYAH (@iimabeautty) May 6, 2024
    Twitter: @iimabeautty


    My bladder

    — Jenni (@hashjenni) May 6, 2024
    Twitter: @hashjenni


    Turned my camera off to eat my lunch during this zoom meeting and forgot to turn off my audio.

    My client: “Michael feel free to weigh in after you eat.”

    — MTC (@writelike_mike) May 6, 2024
    Twitter: @writelike_mike


    Being a baby must be scary, imagine sleeping at home & you wake up at TJMAXX

    — That 1 Foo 🎨 🇲🇽 (@xigotsoul) May 9, 2024
    Twitter: @xigotsoul


    My son just asked me how I know his name... I'm not in the mood today

    — B 🦋 (@isabellayonce) May 6, 2024
    Twitter: @isabellayonce


    The Darkness taking over my cute and bubbly personality when i hear the teams notification

    — V. (@mcvncent) May 6, 2024
    Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images / Via Twitter: @mcvncent


    Me when I’m in the barbers

    — billy (@billydyson_) May 6, 2024
    Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images / Via Twitter: @billydyson_


    That's that me espresso

    — Cosmo | 🍉 (@crybabysportal) May 7, 2024
    Twitter: @crybabysportal


    Y did they submit this for proof of income 😭😭

    — Bingy 🩷 (@queenzingha) May 6, 2024
    Twitter: @queenzingha


    my air fryer after 15 minutes at 400 degrees:

    — carl marks (@lethalrejection) May 7, 2024
    Twitter: @lethalrejection


    watched a dude carry a screaming toddler across the parking lot. he noticed me looking at him and said “he’s mine, i’m not stealing him” and then before i could reply he added “if i was gonna take one, it definitely wouldn’t be this asshole”

    — nash flynn (@itsnashflynn) May 12, 2024
    Twitter: @itsnashflynn


    Driving instructor just gagged me a bit

    — Harrison Brocklehurst (@harrisonjbrock) May 7, 2024
    Twitter: @harrisonjbrock


    [taking you aside after your joke flops] You're almost out of the friend group

    — gale na (@poisonjr) May 7, 2024
    Twitter: @poisonjr


    it’s always funny seeing ur professors’ names in scientific articles… like that’s proomf 😭

    — bb (@sixmista) May 7, 2024
    Twitter: @sixmista


    men are so private they could be at their own wedding and post a pic of the sky

    — 🕷️ (@yrrfatima) May 7, 2024
    Twitter: @yrrfatima


    was *just* about to mail someone the worst condolence card of all time when i noticed the design inside of the envelope I was using at the last possible second Jfc

    — david ehrlich (@davidehrlich) May 7, 2024
    Twitter: @davidehrlich


    Bruh … so I work at longhorn why in DF THIS LADY JUST TIP ME IN POPEYES COUPONS

    — J Chris (@TheRealJChris_) May 9, 2024
    Twitter: @TheRealJChris_


    love these Girls. not the most popular but Always sticking together

    — 4th Quarter Player (@abby5to7) May 8, 2024
    Twitter: @abby5to7


    Im so h*gh rn and I almost cried thinking of the chefs that have cooked every meal I've ate from restaurants like I am so thankful to them Omg

    — Rat (@kiIaIa713) May 9, 2024
    Twitter: @kiIaIa713


    “You made that on canva?!”
    Pls give me an iced coffee and two solid hours and I could make the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel on canva

    — Chelsea Daley (@chelsea_daley) May 10, 2024
    Twitter: @chelsea_daley


    *least jealous voice ever* actually i don't need to see the aurora borealis bc i see beauty in every living thing and every moment

    — robert altdude (@listenupnerds) May 11, 2024
    Twitter: @listenupnerds