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    I'm Sorry For Laughing At These Turkey Stories Because They All Sound Like Nighmares

    "Everybody has a turkey story."

    1. A group of turkeys attacked members of a congregation that turkey.

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    Two members of the church were "gobbled at and chased back inside."

    2. Aggressive turkeys in Rocky River, OH halted mail delivery, temporarily.

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    "The carriers are carrying an air horn to see if that will scare off the turkeys, if that will discourage them," a spokesperson for the post office said.

    3. A gang of turkeys caused the elderly of Stamford, CT to hide indoors.

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    The aggressive turkeys would pick fights amongst each other, then turn on the residents!

    4. A turkey dropkicked a woman in Foxboro, MA.

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    She fended the rest of the turkeys off with the help of a neighbor.

    5. One woman had to threatened a turkey with a shovel to protect her child.

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    One person called them "a menace to the town."

    6. A gang of turkeys pooped all over Eugene, OR.

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    A city council member referred to them as "gangster" turkeys.

    7. A gang of turkeys in Falmouth, MA wouldn't stop harassing post workers.

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    "Every day."

    8. Turkeys have also been known to attack reporters.

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    They are basically smaller versions of dinosaurs.

    9. One energetic bird, known as "Smoked Turkey--Mayor of Ashwaubenon," is wanted by the police.

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    Public Safety has asked that residents not feed him, even though he is their mayor.

    10. A "mean" turkey won't stop pecking at cars in Florida.

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    "Everybody has a turkey story," one resident said.

    11. This fearless turkey attacked a police car in Mount Vernon, PA.

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    His name is Stu and he gets aggressive when he sees his reflection.

    12. A turkey laid 18 eggs on a Staten Island man's property and refused to move.

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    An animal rescue team moved her and her babies to an animal sanctuary, so this story had a happier ending than most.

    13. This woman could only chase a loitering turkey away by throwing her Thanksgiving turkey at it.

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    The circle of life.