We asked parents of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what they secretly hate about having kids. Here are their very honest responses:
1. "I hate being over-touched by my kids and hate having to deal with their school. I am not a social person. But hey, they are my babies, and I love them more than anything."
2. "I hate working. Having a career is infinitely harder with kids. People think once they hit kindergarten it'll be so much easier, but that's not true. When they're tiny, daycare is open year-round, and most only close on major holidays. School is closed all the damn time, and if you don't have family or friends that can watch them, it's a HUGE problem. The stress of wondering if you're going to get fired because you called in yet again is probably my biggest issue with being a parent."
3. "I hate how many of the cute milestones just make things harder as a parent. Cool, they can walk — now I can never sit down again. She just pooped in the potty for the first time? Amazing! Now I get to clean poop and pee off the floor multiple times a day until she gets the timing right, and THEN we have to make sure we’re near a toilet every 30 minutes so we can practice, and then I still have to wipe. School? I have to drop them off, help with homework, and deal with bullies. The small moments of bliss are certainly worth it, but now that we’re in the 'I’m going to take my diaper off WHILE I’m pooping' phase, I’m realizing that it really is a never-ending slog."
4. "As much as my daughter is the best and most wonderful thing in my life...I absolutely hate when she wants me to play with her dolls. It's mindless as an adult! However, I will do it, regardless, because I adore her. I just bow out gracefully after a short time."
5. "I hate weekends. Weekends before having kids meant sleeping in, having brunch, binge-watching TV, and relaxing. Weekends after having kids mean 8 a.m. soccer games, birthday parties, and expectations to entertain your kids all the time. I relish Mondays now."
6. "I dislike having to be nice to my kids even when I’m not in a good mood. No one ever understands that it’s a never-ending job."
—Anonymous
7. "My contribution is my absolute hatred of school and sports obligations outside of school hours and activities like other kids' birthday parties. I'm all about encouraging my kids to pursue their interests, but I detest working all day and then having to go to a band or choir concert, sports practice, and/or boy scout and girl scout type activities. I am an introvert. I order my groceries for delivery or pickup because my happy place is my house."
"Having to make small talk with other parents feels like torture. I can't escape when there is a super annoying person I no longer want to talk to and I feel like the weird parent."
8. "I hate the weight and the pressure I feel every single day and knowing every decision I make can have a lasting effect on my kids' lives, good or bad. If I take the promotion or work more hours I can pay for their extracurricular activities, but I'll miss them all. If I move to a more affordable neighborhood, they'll have to change schools and lose their old neighborhood friends."
"As a single mom of three, sometimes after working all day, cooking, cleaning, and helping with homework, I cry in the shower so they can't see just to let out all the anxiety and the self-loathing from making even minor mistakes like running out of bread because I forgot to run by the store on my lunch break. It's hard to get everything done and still make time each day just to talk to them about how their days were. It's so so draining and lonely. But they DESERVE it."
9. "I hate dealing with other parents. Whether it's in sports or at school, sometimes they can be awful. It takes away from the joy you have in seeing your kids participate in different activities. I can't even watch my kid during her ballet practice because sharing the same air with other parents can be awful."
—Anonymous
10. "I hate the MESS!!! Some days I want my children gone, and then my house would be clean again! But all of those little messes mean that fun has happened. But sometimes I just want my house clean again and to not have to step on a Lego for the 40th time."
—Anonymous
11. "I hate the permanent changes to my body. I have back pain that chiropractors and yoga can’t help. I love my kid, but my body will never be the same."
—Anonymous
12. "I hate not being able to leave my house after 7 p.m. (their bedtime) without getting a babysitter."
—Anonymous
13. "I miss resting when I’m sick. If you’re sick, guess what? You don’t get to rest! You’re still expected to cook the meals, clean the messes, and get the kids to their schools and activities. It’s awful."
14. "Constantly cooking, making food, or preparing snacks! I do sometimes enjoy cooking, but doing it all day every day gets so old, especially when 90% of the time it garners complaints and kids barely eat it."
15. "I hate the lack of freedom in my schedule. That party you were looking forward to? NOPE, you can't be out past 8 p.m. for bedtime. That really cool concert your friend just invited you to tonight? NOPE, there's no time to find a sitter. Every moment of your life is now controlled by those little humans. Now, being a parent, I understand why my dad would sit in the car for a while before coming into the house at night."
16. "Kids follow you EVERYWHERE. Say goodbye to any privacy once they get older. I can't take a shit in peace without mine looking for me."
17. "I hate the MESSES!!!! Kids touch things that I didn't know could get dirty. They touch places that I barely needed to clean before I had the little ones. Handles and knobs are just decorations to them, and anything mirrored or glass needs to be touched (or licked) if you are under 5."
"I also never knew I would use so much effort getting milk stains out of my floors, table, chairs, cabinets, and sliding glass door. Who knew it left such horrible marks?! And sinks, toilets, and dogs' water bowls are irresistible to toddlers and preschoolers!"
—Anonymous
18. And lastly, "I adore them with every fiber of my being, but I wish I'd been warned that children are from Mars and adults are from Venus. The amount of creativity, research, energy, and time I have to put into learning how to get them to complete quotidian tasks like getting dressed, bathed, fed, and going to bed is mind-boggling. Little kids have different priorities and run on their own schedule, which I respect and think is one of the most wondrous parts of childhood, but it makes the practical stuff so challenging."
"While I strive to break generational cycles and not yell at my kids for being kids, I'm definitely screaming on the inside when it takes 40 minutes and every trick I have up my sleeve to convince my 3-year-old to put on a pair of socks so we can get to preschool on time."
—Anonymous
Parents, what are other things you secretly hate about having kids? Let us know in the comments (or use this Google Form if you want to be anonymous).
Note: Responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.