Recently, reddit user u/OMW2FYB1994 asked other Redditors, "What is the strangest thing a partner has said or done during sex that instantly killed the mood?"
People had A LOT of awkward stories to share, and I challenge you to read some of them without dying from secondhand embarrassment:
1. "I was giving a hand job to my boyfriend, he was getting close, and my brain was trying to think of sexy things to say. Before I could stop myself I said, 'Yeah, gotta get alllll the milk out.'"
2. "I was the first uncircumcised boyfriend she had. We were mutually masturbating one night and I then suddenly realized that she was playing with my foreskin. Not sexually, but like, gently flicking it...like you might do with a zip on a jacket."
3. "Without a trace of irony in his voice, he said, 'Keep making the mac 'n' cheese sound.' Bro what?"
4. "She asked, 'How do you last so long? Do you think of your grandma?' while I was inside of her."
5. "I was talking dirty to my wife and I called her vagina...a vagina. Something like, 'I’m going to stick it in your vagina.' She burst out laughing."
6. “Someone once said, 'Can we stop here? I gotta go take a shit.'”
7. "We were in doggy style and I reached back to massage his balls. He had sharted and I got shit all over my hands."
8. “Someone said, 'Oh, Andy!' My name is NOT Andy."
9. "My husband did an Elmer Fudd impression. We were home getting frisky and noticed the window was open. So I said we had to be quiet, to which my husband replied 'Be vewwy quiet, I'm hunting wabbits.'"
10. "A young lady once barked during sex. Not a playful joking bark, but a creepy, grunting growly bark, like a dog tearing up a toy."
11. "Someone said, 'It's really sexy how you can do all these different voices, but it also reminds me of a ride at Disneyland.'"
12. "'Someone told me, 'First, let's pray.'"
13. "We had the TV going in the background. Suddenly Pokémon comes on. The dude stops and just starts singing the theme song."
14. "I was doing some foreplay with my girlfriend and I wanted to say, 'I can't wait to suck your clit,' but instead I said, 'I can't wait to suck your dick.' She started crying with laughter."
15. "I was going down on my wife and my mind was wandering. For some dumb reason, I remember that her mom had called about coming over. So, as my wife is heading to climax, I stopped, looked up, and asked, 'Did you call your mom back?'"
16. "She asked, 'Are you thinking about how much I look like Michael Cera?' She did look like Michael Cera."
17. "This happened to a friend. They were naked, just about to get to it, when the guy looks at a shelf and said, 'Oh you got Magic cards!' He then got off the bed to go look at them while still naked."
18. "During intense foreplay, she answered the phone and talked for about half an hour. Mood was killed, embalmed, and buried."
19. "There’s a video my boyfriend once showed me of a turtle having sex. The male turtle was making a weird 'heeeehhhh...heeeehhh' sound. Anyway, when we were having sex, RIGHT as my boyfriend came, he made the same exact sound the turtle made, spot on too."
20. "Someone called me daddy and I have a daughter who calls me that so I instantly went soft."
21. "My ex told me he wanted to share a 'fantasy' with me while we were in the middle of foreplay and proceeded to try and explain, in his sexy talk voice, how he wanted to fuck my best friend."
Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.