1.
Hearing myself say “AYEEEE” on my story the next day is honestly bottom of the barrel. I hate it here
2.
When you thought your nose was finally unblocking but it just switched nostrils
3.
Me showing up 2 hours after I said I was 5 mins away
4.
Me: *uploads resume* Application: please fill out your job history Me:
5.
how I, a millennial, filter spam calls: -if my phone rings, it's spam
6.
These captcha tests are getting out of hand. Like damn bitch am I robot???
7.
“Why tattoos? You wouldn’t put stickers on a nice car.” Ma’am I am at best a 2003 Corolla.
8.
When you realize mid conversation that it will be the first and last time you will be hanging out with somebody
9.
Can someone write an article on millenials killing the doorbell industry by texting "here"
10.
me when i was 10 pretending i was dead in the pool to see if anyone would care
11.
Me when I bring my comforter out to the couch https://t.co/itj6IEvHpm
12.
Me: how do I do my taxes Public School: shut the fuck up and square dance
13.
me before going through security at airport: what if i accidentally have a gun
14.
All the white Girls I went to highschool with make this face in their pics when they’re trying to be funny. https://t.co/fccnNUT0SF
15.
my friends out here like: 10 10 10 <|> <|> <|> /\ /\ /\ and i really be over here like: -2 <|> /\
16.
my mom yesterday: do u work tomorrow me: yes my mom today: do u work today me: yes i already told u my mom when i'm at work: where are u
17.
Nobody: Me hours later thinking about everything I could have said in the argument:
18.
8 year old me Calling Disney Channel Celebrities after googling their phone numbers on youtube
19.
Me looking through stories on Instagram:
20.
*Me logging into my Gmail on a computer instead of my phone* Google online security system:
21.
mom: YALL GOT 5 MINUTES OR YOU GETTING LEFT whole house:
22.
me leaving the pregame messy and ready to embarrass myself in public
23.
Me eating a gas station turkey wrap and telling men how I will NOT go on a Applebee’s date
24.
i am: ⚪️ gay ⚪️ straight ⚪️ bisexual ⚪️ asexual 🔘 annoyed at people who tell me to stop bouncing my leg because it’s a distraction for them or because it bothers them— i’m sorry you don’t have anxiety susan, stop fucking judging me and let me be internally anxious in peace
25.
Does anyone actually know what you're suppose to do when people are singing happy birthday to you
26.
everytime the law & order theme song comes on
27.
Yeah I’m DTF Doing The best I can and Fucking it up anyway
28.
bitches take their laptops and notebooks to coffee shops and get no work done while acting like they’re in an indie movie. i’m bitches.
29.
When you’re on a roller coaster and you know the camera is coming up
30.
YOU MISSPELLED ONE WORD ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND HERE COME AKEELAH AND THE BEE
31.
Adulthood is just saying “if I can just get through this week” over and over again until you die.
32.
my conversations w literally anyone: ⚪️ 🔵 🔵 🔵 🔵 🔵 ⚪️ ⚪️ 🔵 🔵 🔵 🔵 🔵 🔵 ⚪️