1. This kid who unintentionally dragged their mom:
10: Mom what's a metaphor? Me: My life is a train wreck. 10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
2. This kid who intimidated their aunt just a tad bit:
@ChefResha My niece told my sister "you can't wear diamonds bcuz they're pretty, you're not pretty. You can wear rocks." I left, I didnt wanna be next
3. This kid who took things from 0 to 100 real quick:
I told my nephew a watermelon was gonna grow in his stomach because he ate some of the seeds and I kid you not, he looked me straight in the eyes and said “nope because there’s no sunlight so you’re wrong and college has failed you” He’s 7.
4. This kid who came for their mom's cooking:
Me: We all make mistakes. 5: Even you? Me: Yep 5: Oh yeah! Like when you're trying to cook food that tastes good but then it doesn't?
5. This kid who owned their sibling in ~classic~ Gen Z fashion:
my little brother just said “ok boomer” to me. he is 9.
6. This kid who straight up just dragged their sibling:
my little brother just said “you look like an oompa loompa... short and ugly”
7. This kid who could recognize an empty threat:
told my 6 yr old nephew he was gonna get coal for christmas he said i don’t care i’ll put it in the grill and cook a burger. Damn
8. This kid who interpreted things their own way:
I told my brother he can eat half of my grapes
9. This kid who wasn't afraid to ask questions:
I started dancing to the peanuts theme song in the living room... how come my niece told me “why you look like a girl” in front of the whole family
10. This kid who saw Despicable Me maybe one too many times:
My 6yo daughter just caught me getting out of the shower. "It looks like a minion!"
11. This kid who somewhat knew where babies came from:
Yesterday my 3 year old told his Grandma that he wasn't in an old picture because he was still swimming in his daddy's balls #shitmykidsays
12. This kid who admired their mom's facial hair:
My almost 6 year old son just told me he wished he had my moustache. #SickBurn #Savage #ShitMyKidSays
13. This kid who just didn't want to hear their parent talk:
My kid just told me “you make me tired when you say words”
14. This kid who took questions too literally:
Husband: Isn't your mom the most beautiful woman ever? 5yo: (thoughtfully) I'm not so sure about that... Me: quality ego check, babe 💗
15. This kid who wanted to start their own business:
hello 911??? my little brother just said he’s going to start cutting off bits of my hair & selling it as my merch
16. This kid whose words haunted their mother:
Words still resounding in my head since breakfast, 'Look! It's a picture of Mama before she got saggy..' #honestyofchildren 😕
17. And finally, this kid who kept it real with their mom:
Me "ugh I ate a lot today..." Payton "it's not just today mom." #KidsAreTooHonest