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Updated on Dec 22, 2019. Posted on Dec 18, 2019

22 Incredibly Dumb Things People Said That I'm Seriously Cackling At

"This guy I know told me that he honestly thought Jesus was attached to the cross with a staple gun."

Recently Reddit user u/ZakLorinator asked other Redditors, "What's the dumbest thing someone has told you?"

And, of course, people had TONS of examples of ridiculous things they heard and were ready to share. And after reading a lot of them, I'm still laughing. (But also, I'm kinda concerned 😐).

1. "A girl in my eighth grade geology class once said that the oceans were so polluted because the dirty animals wash themselves in it."

Stiffmeister24

E!

2. "Someone told me, 'I don't have to wear a condom because I smoke weed and it makes me sterile.'"

ManEEEFaces

3. "Someone once asked me, 'When is 9/11 again?' I didn't know if they were joking or not so I laughed. They were serious."

OfficialAzif

Digital Spy / Via youtube.com

4. "Someone once told me they saved the internet on a floppy disk. They actually saved their dial up connection shortcut, but they truly were convinced that it contained the whole internet."

timetraveller1977

5. "Someone pointed at my glucose monitoring device and asked, 'Do you have diabetes in your arm or is it in your stomach?'"

sugargrasses

6. "I was told that a blowjob doesn't count as cheating because 'It doesn't include the genitals interacting.'"

Portarossa

T-Mobile / Via youtube.com

7. "A friend in high school told me he didn’t take the SAT because he heard it’s easier the second time."

ImReallySorryMom

8. "The TA for one of my classes in college said his parents didn't let him watch Veggie Tales as a kid because 'vegetables aren't supposed to have souls.'"

crapenvelope

E!

9. "Someone told me the South Pole is hot because it's the south."

FrostedRavenclaw

10. "I heard a person say, 'I don't want to swim in the ocean because I might get pregnant by a sperm whale.'"

Subliminal_Rose

11. "This guy I know told me that he honestly thought Jesus was attached to the cross with a staple gun."

Myrron_life

VH1

12. "A nursing student told me math isn't real. They said if I said 2+2=5 it would be true."

All_Lines_Merge

13. "While jogging with my friend in the morning they said, 'I am so slim because I follow a diet of hydrocarbons that my doctor recommended me.'"

Alfredoxrocks

14. "Someone said that Adam and Eve were white because they had seen pictures."

Sadaisy

Lifetime

15. "My coworker asked my boss, 'Can I have Monday off? It's my anniversary.' My boss responded, 'You got married on a Monday?'

CoolBeansMan9

16. "I worked at a museum and had to let a girl go because she was going around telling everyone that dinosaurs weren’t real because no animals can breathe fire. She was a law student."

Fronkey776

17. "There was a kid at my school who said his mom didn’t let him watch SpongeBob because she 'didn’t want the gay spirits in the house.' A few years later, he told everyone he was a furry so I don't know what changed over that time."

PM-ME-YOUR-STOMACH">PM-ME-YOUR-STOMACH

iHeart Radio

18. "It was night at summer camp and when I turned on a flashlight during a storm this guy started yelling at me to shut it off because, apparently, light attracts lightning."

Noesk

19. "Someone said that birds are mammals because they have meat."

JugOfVoodoo

Fox

20. "My friend said, 'You're trying to tell me that our sun is a star? What are all those other things?' I proceed to show her an observable universe’s size comparison video. She said, 'Humans can’t look that far, I can’t even see the moon sometimes.'"

arsyeira

21. "My step sister told me we should see the PG-13 movie because PG meant 'pretty good.'

itti-bitti-kitti

22. "Someone told me that John Lennon was, in fact, the first president to be assassinated."

Dame_Mort

E!

Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

What's the dumbest things someone has ever told you? Let us know in the comments!

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