We asked the members of the BuzzFeed Community to share a secret about their family they didn't learn until they were older. Here are some of their most surprising responses they left anonymously in this Google form:
1. "I found out my mom was previously married before my father after finding a bunch of bills addressed with a different last name. She put this man through medical school, and he was recently convicted of illegally prescribing controlled substances. Seems she dodged a bullet there."
—Anonymous
2. "I had always looked up to my grandparents as role models for everything from marriage to finances. I went to my grandpa often for financial advice, and he never led me wrong. After he passed, my grandma told me that they were actually deep in credit card debt, not because they didn't have money in the bank but because instead of using money that they had, my grandpa would just open new accounts, charge the card 'til it was full, then not pay it off and ignore it. It totally shocked me and was really disappointing to learn about him since I had looked up to him so much."
—Anonymous
3. "When my mom and dad got divorced, I thought it was mutual, but it wasn't. My mom left my dad and started dating this dude who was married. Then, they broke up, she got together with my stepdad, and he cheated on her multiple times. We moved to another city and found out my sister's best friend's mom was dating the first guy, and they were our new neighbors."
—Anonymous
4. "My mom was the result of an affair, and I didn't know until I was in high school that my grandfather was not my biological grandfather. My mom herself didn't know until she was in her 30s. If she didn't get sick and had to run DNA tests, I'm sure my grandma would have taken the secret to her grave. My grandma passed away 11 years ago and never told us who the father was. We think we know and that my mom has two stepsisters, but when we tried to reach out, they blocked us. So, I guess we will never know."
—Anonymous
5. "Not my parents, but my uncle. My aunt and uncle were remarkable people, but they were never able to adopt a child. My parents knew why, but no one would tell me why. About 10-15 years ago, my dad and I were at dinner. It turns out that when my uncle was an adolescent, he got into a fight and the other kid died."
—Anonymous
6. "I learned that my father not only had my mother followed and photographed during their years-long divorce but even sent a photo to her then-boyfriend to intimidate him (and her). Also, he later had a tracking device put in my sister's car because he would rather have to pay to have her stalked than be an actual parent and tell her he didn't feel comfortable with her going to the beach with her friends."
—Anonymous
7. "I knew my parents got together quickly. They went to the courthouse to get married about four months after their first date (and they’re still married 34 years later), but what I didn’t know until a few years ago was that on their first date, my dad was still legally married to his first wife. They had been separated before that, but he didn’t sign the papers until he got home from the first date with my mom. I didn’t ask why!"
—Anonymous
8. "I found out that my mom had an affair with a married man when she was in her 20s. She got pregnant and had the baby. Sadly, the baby died at 11 weeks old. My mom died when I was 20, and I found out about this baby when my older cousins were here helping me go through her stuff, and I asked who the baby in the picture was. They all thought I knew. But my mom had never said a word. Anytime I asked about who that particular baby picture belonged to, she would just say I think that might be one of your cousins."
—Anonymous
9. "I found out at 16 my dad was gay. But due to being SUPER Christian, he decided to marry a woman and have a family because he wanted one. My mom found gay porn on his computer more than once. They just celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary."
—Anonymous
10. "I found out that my grandparents paid for my father to go to grad school and probably loaned my parents hundreds of thousands of dollars. I always thought it was my grandma being mean to my parents by asking for it back or calling them about what they spent the money on, but my parents were just really irresponsible with money and would ask for money for bills and then spend it on, like, dinners out and the movies and unnecessary things."
—Anonymous
11. "My dad cheated on my mom with a woman from our church. I didn't find that one out until my 30s. My mom let it slip after a few drinks during a discussion about infidelity."
—Anonymous
12. "My dad has always told us about his hard life and being involved with bad people, but that was it. No details, no names or dates, and no location. For my 21st birthday, we went out drinking, and he began to go into detail about some of the bad things he'd done. Turned out he used to be a 'collector' for a gang. When people didn't hold up their end of the bargain, he would go and 'help them find a way' to pay their debt. He didn't say how he would help them pay, but when I asked if he ever killed anybody, he just stared at me. Never answered. After talking a bit more, he was like, 'Okay...I need another drink, and that's pretty much it anyway.' He stood up, started walking to the bar, stopped after a few feet, and turned to me and said, '...Oh, one more thing. I was in prison for trying to kill my brother.'"
"He continued saying, 'The fucker obviously survived...and I got the charges reduced.' He then got us another round and acted like the last hour didn't exist."
—Anonymous
13. "My dad was my mom’s teacher in grad school. They’re seven years apart, not insane for a 20-something and a 30-something. They always told us they started dating after the class ended. It wasn’t until I was older that they told me that after the last class, my dad took them all out for drinks, and my mom went home with him that night!"
—Anonymous
14. "I borrowed my parent's laptop for school work. They hadn't closed out their signed-in email tab, and oh boy...I wish I hadn't been as curious, but I liked getting to know them better. I found out that they are full-blown swingers. They had multiple conversation threads with different couples about what they liked — both in and outside of the bedroom — discussions about boundaries, and where they would meet. I was shocked! I enjoyed knowing this secret about them, but now, as a 28-year-old, I have made it clear that I know, and they just laugh without responding. My siblings thought this info was gross and that I shouldn't have told them, but at the moment, I had to tell someone. My parents have been married for over 33 years and are happy. They have a great life together."
—Anonymous
15. And... "I knew my dad served in Vietnam, but was told it was as a mechanic. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I was told that even as a mechanic, he saw combat and was shot at. Apparently, he came home from the war and got hooked on heroin to deal with the PTSD. This was all before he had kids, of course."
—Anonymous
Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.