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Posted on Jul 3, 2014

The 16 Mandatory Rules Of Theater Etiquette

So you’re interested in going to see a play or a musical and you’re not a regular theatergoer. I’m going to help you out by giving you a list of 16 rules to take with you when you go see a show. Please abide by all of them. All of them. I compiled this list before this article came out but this is a must-read to accompany the following.

by Aimee Curameng

Community Contributor

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There are appropriate times to have a conversation when you’re at the theater. You can speak with your friend or date before the show. You can get to the theater half an hour early and take a look at the show merchandise, appreciate the theater from your seat, and you can talk then. Intermission’s usually 15 minutes. That’s a good time to talk. During the show? NOPE. NO. NEVER. You’re at the theater for a reason. It’s a live show experience. You’re dedicating the time to go, you’ve paid the money (especially if you go to a show on Broadway, you’re paying a lot of money), and you should pay attention to… the show.

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You would think this wouldn’t have to be said. You’re not the type of person to have your phone on during a movie (ARE YOU?!) so why would you have it on at the theater? You’re giving up two, three hours of your time to see a show you have agreed to see. This is one of the few places where your life is not interrupted by a chime or ringtone and you should take the time to appreciate it. You’ve read the stories about people in the theater whose cell phones ring and the actors pause to take notice? Don’t be that person. Do not film, do not take photos, do not use your camera phone/camera/recorders. Don't use 'em. Do I have to remind you of the Patti Lupone incident? Oh, okay. (Ignore the irony of THIS being recorded in the theater).

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I know, I know. Rock of Ages, Once, We Will Rock You, these are the shows that encourage you to take on that rock and roll vibe and go a little crazy. But don’t go nuts. You’re still there to see a show and so are the other people around you. I know it may seem like a concert setting sometimes especially during the loud, gaudy, and fun rock musicals but they’re not. You still need to put your phone or camera away. You’re still there to see a show so be courteous to those around you. They let you bring in drinks? Oh. Okay so you can’t sit through a two hour show without a drink. No slurping, no spilling.

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There’s a reason the restaurants in the theater district are packed before the shows. People eat. You’re going to be in the theater for a little while so make sure you grab something to eat on the way there. Don’t eat a complete meal at your seat. Don’t crunch through that bag of chips. Don’t bring a tuna salad sandwich. You can make it a few hours without food, I promise. I know theaters have started selling snacks but it’s not like going to a movie. Your fellow theater patrons notice and the actors notice and yes, it’s incredibly distracting.

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I was in the second row of Fiddler on the Roof. The woman sitting in front of me put her child in her lap and decided she needed to be part of the show by imitating all the dance moves on stage like they were at their own private performance. No. I’m sorry, ma’am. You’re sharing this space with 1,000 other people. It was distracting to the audience and distracting to the actors on stage. I know how tempting it is to get up and dance during Hairspray’s “You Can’t Stop the Beat” but I don’t do it.

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If it’s not the Sound of Music sing along, I’d rather not hear you over the actors. I know you know all the words to “I Believe” and “Defying Gravity” and “I’m Alive” and “Music of the Night” and on and on. They are darn catchy songs and I’ll be singing them home in the car later but I’d rather hear Ramin Karimloo sing “Bring Him Home” at the next performance of Les Miserables. Thank you.

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I know going to the movies has become a nightmare lately. A lot of this happens there where people just react to what’s happening on the screen. Well, it happens at the theater, too. I’m not talking about someone’s sobbing reaction to Next to Normal (but there are those moments, too, where it’s more distracting than endearing) but the times when someone speaks through the show. I once sat next to someone who had to narrate what was happening in Wicked as it was happening. You’re ruining the show for everyone around you.

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One thing that people have a tendency to do is leave during curtain call. As an addendum to my last point, when there’s a star in a show, people tend to leave early to grab a prime spot at the stage door. No, no, no. Bad move. Bad idea. Bad news. Don’t do it. It’s considered rude, the actors definitely notice, and you’re not acknowledging the performance you saw on the stage. Respect where you are and the actors, they put a lot of work into that show.

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I know how basic this is. It’s such a simple idea but we’re living in an age where people watch movies and television shows from the comfort of their own homes, when they want to, whenever they want to, and that behavior has shifted to other venues like the theater. But you’re not in your own home. You’re at an event. You paid money for it. Other people paid money for it and they want to enjoy the show they’ve come to see. Respect them the way you would want to be respected. I can go on and on about behavioral rules for the theater but they’re all pretty basic. Take a couple of hours to relax and be entertained. There’s nothing like live theater. That performance is only performed that way once. Appreciate it.