29 Things You Can Expect Now Summer's Finally Here
Time to (cautiously) get out the sun cream.
It finally happened. Spread the news!
Yes, the Great British summertime: brief moments of exhilaration, tempered by a gloomy foreknowledge of ultimate anticlimax.
Let's be honest: most outdoor activities you arrange will end up like this.
At which point everything vaguely summery will suddenly seem dismally ironic.
But have faith! It will, very occasionally, be moderately hot and sunny.
The unlikeliest of candidates will shed their clothes.
Admittedly, not everyone will take to the sunshine well.
And the swimming pools will all be horribly over-crowded.
But it won't all be bad. For one thing there will be sweet, sweet ice cream.
There will be talk of day trips to the seaside.
(Because no-one ever regretted that decision, right?)
Wimbledon will happen, and we'll all get briefly excited.
We'll make the same joke we make every year (and it will still be funny).
We'll feign an interest in cricket, even though we're only watching it because all the good sports have finished for the summer.
Mystifyingly, men everywhere will be gripped by the desire to do this.
And every driver will dice with death when sitting on hot leather.
A weekend trip to the countryside will seem - against all rational advice - like the best idea ever.
Teenagers will get their A-level results. Though mysteriously only female students will appear in the papers.
Everyone will bang on endlessly about Glastonbury, and - unless you're there - you'll get sick of hearing about it.
But you'll enjoy laughing at people's misfortune if it's a muddy one.
And frankly, you'd rather watch it on TV anyway.
People will flock to the pub every night for delicious post-work pints.
For a few precious weeks, outdoor drinking - and Pimm's! - will be a genuine option.
(Though admittedly this doesn't always go to plan).
Actual news will seem to disappear for the duration of silly season.
Momentarily, it will seem like the whole country's in a good mood.
Just remember to be realistic in your expectations.
Ultimately, on balance, the summer will probably be a let-down.
But for a few brief moments, it will be glorious.
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