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How Fancy Are You?

You fancy huh?

Posted on
  1. Tick every box that applies to you.

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    Do you use a knife and a fork when you eat?
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    Even when you're eating a burrito?
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    Do you use a napkin when you eat?
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    A cloth one?
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    What about a fish knife?
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    What about a cake fork?
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    Do you wash your hands after using the bathroom?
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    Every time?
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    Are your shoes polished?
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    Or are they suede?
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    Do you own more than two pairs of shoes?
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    Not including running shoes.
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    Do you know how to tie a tie?
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    Can you tie a bow tie?
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    Do you carry postage stamps?
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    Does your family have a motto?
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    And a crest?
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    Do you always carry an umbrella?
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    Do you drink bourbon?
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    Do you drink whiskey?
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    Do you know the difference between bourbon and whiskey?
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    Do you know the difference between whisky and whiskey?
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    Do you wear trousers, even when you're the only one at home?
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    Do you wash your hair, even when you know you won't see anyone for two days?
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    Do you wash your face before bed?
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    Always?
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    Do you brush your teeth twice a day?
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    Have you opened a bottle of wine, only to drink one glass?
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    And actually just drank one glass?
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    One normal-size glass?
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    Can you promise that you have never responded to a text with "k"?
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    Is the number of selfies on your phone currently under 20?
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    Under 10?
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    Under 5?!
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    Do you eat at least three portions of fruit and vegetables per day?
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    Not including smoothies?
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    Do you juice?
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    Do you own actual pyjamas?
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    Not including a free T-shirt you got and some boxer shorts.
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    Do you have guest bed sheets?
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    And towels?
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    Do you say "excuse me" after you burp?
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    Do you own up to it when you fart?
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    Do you have a savings account?
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    That you put savings into?
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    And don't take money out of?
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    Do you take taxis often?
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    Have you taken a taxi in the last month?
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    In the last week?
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    Today?
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    Do you always tip?
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    Do you always tip well?
 
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