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23 Things Kids Who Didn’t Celebrate Christmas Knew All Too Well

Why is everyone asking where Christmas is? IT'S LITERALLY EVERYWHERE.

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1. Christmas carols either produced disturbing levels of anger or painful amounts of jealousy.

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2. Your friends were all busy with their family, so like four full days of winter break went to waste.

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3. There was all this weird stuff on TV that honestly made no sense.

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4. But you still lived vicariously through Nickelodeon Christmas specials.

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5. You definitely angered some parents when you let it slip at school that Santa wasn't real.

6. Buuuuut you still wanted to sit on a mall Santa's lap. Just to double-check.

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You never got to though, since your parents weren't about to waste money on that nonsense.

7. If you were really insistent, you convinced your parents to put up a Christmas tree ONCE when you were young, but seriously, only once.

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8. Giving directions to your house became way easier during the holidays.

"It's the completely dark one."

9. If you didn't celebrate another holiday during the season, you experienced the painful envy of other people's presents.

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10. You couldn't accidentally wear red and green, 'cause your friends would be like, YOU'VE FINALLY DECIDED TO CELEBRATE? OH HAPPY DAY!

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But gosh dang it, you just had no taste in clothing.

11. If you did celebrate another holiday, you desperately wanted a Santa-like mascot of your own.

The Mensch on the Bench is probably good friends with the Eid Elf.

12. You asked your parents if you could get Christmas presents anyway, but they were like, "LOL nope."

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13. If your parents agreed to buy you a Nintendo 64 or Furby, they were pissed about having to face the crowds.

"Maybe in January, son."
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"Maybe in January, son."

14. Your friends would talk about "stocking stuffers" and you were like, WHY ARE YOU PUTTING GIFTS IN SOCKS?

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Other questions: If you hang the socks by the chimney, why wouldn't you just look in? When do you take the gifts out of the socks? Are the gifts useful!? DO THEY COUNT AS REGULAR GIFTS? DO YOU WEAR THE SOCKS?!

15. And candy canes were a terrible trick. Pass out a real candy, not breath mints.

Peanut butter cups or nothing, obviously.
Flickr: Sarah-Rose / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: oh_darling

Peanut butter cups or nothing, obviously.

16. Gingerbread houses were also confusing. Do you build them or do you eat them?


17. You tried to create holiday neutral arts and crafts at school. It was impossible.

What were you supposed to create with brown pipe cleaner, a red fuzzy pom, and googly eyes except Rudolph?

18. You probably said something like, "It's OK that I don't get presents! We have a holiday that's baaaaasically the same as Christmas."

19. It was a major shock walking into a department store in November.

Or August. Or September.

20. People in your community acted like they were above the materialism of the season, but they were frontin'.

The only Christmas activity Muslim should celebrate are the Christmas discount sales y'all.


The only Christmas activity Muslim should celebrate are the Christmas discount sales y'all.

5:03 PM - 01 Dec 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

21. You didn't have Christmas dinner exactly, but you did have a special meal.

22. Basically, Christmas Day was like any other day, except everyone and everything was busy or closed.

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23. It's all A-OK though, because you still got to miss school!



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