The Definitive Guide To Being A Muslim In America

"If you’re into Garth Brooks, ain’t nobody gonna think you’re a terrorist.”

Aasif Mandvi, famous for his role as Senior Muslim Correspondent on The Daily Show, stopped by the BuzzFeed offices to talk about his webseries, Halal in the Family. He also gave us a few pointers on how to make it as a Muslim in America.

1. Don't draw too much attention to yourself when you're at the airport.

David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

"...I don't get that much hassle at the airport... I wear my stars and stripes shirt, my stars and stripes hat, an American flag pin... Or just be eating Apple Pie. Wear your Ronald Reagan pin. Whatever! Tommy Hilfiger! Just wear that and you’ll be fine."

2. Make sure everyone knows that you're one of the "cool" Muslims.

David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

"(The characters in Halal in the Family are) drinking pork juice, and eating pork, and covering themselves in pork, and wearing pork suits and pork hats and pig noses. They are like, 'We are walking pork billboards! You don’t need to be afraid of us!'"

3. Respect American history and tradition.

David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

"As a Muslim, you want to stay away from your scary names. You want to stick with Bobby, Whitney, Chelsea, or... Georgia! Anything with an American state name. Name your kids after American states. 'This is my daughter Oklahama and my son Kentucky.'"

4. Dress appropriately.

David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

5. Show a healthy respect for the classics.

David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

"Especially when other people are around. That makes Americans less afraid. If you’re into Garth Brooks, ain't nobody gonna think you’re a terrorist."

6. Just give up.

David Bertozzi /BuzzFeed

"My name is Aasif, but most people will call me Aysif, Aseef, Akhmed, 'Hey! Mexican!' And it's okay! Let that be okay."

7. Follow this lifelong axiom.

David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

8. And remember to be realistic.

David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

"Use that to your advantage. I don’t know how, but use that."

Need more tips? Get some more from Aasif's webseries, Halal in the Family, live on Funny or Die now!