Some people are able to fall asleep instantly and sleep soundly through the whole night.
Those people are lucky jerks. With insomnia, you toss and turn and your mind races and sleep is basically impossible.
1. Some nights, your head is too full of thoughts and worries and you can't seem to turn it off.
2. Or maybe you can't stop stressing about everything you have to do the next day.
3. You've tried EVERYTHING to help you sleep. You've tried the weird candy bars pumped with melatonin...
4. ...and you've tried every kind of tea that promises a restful night.
5. You have actually counted sheep, and you felt ridiculous doing it. Whoever came up with that trick obviously didn't have insomnia.
6. You've even tried the prescription medication route, but that just made you sleepwalk to Safeway and eat a whole birthday cake at 3 AM.
7. Some of your best friends are the weirdos in the infomercials they only show after midnight.
8. You slowly learn to hate your alarm clock, because it's a constant, glowing reminder of how much sleep you aren't getting.
9. You secretly relish having a cold, because it means you get to pump yourself full of delicious sleep-inducing cold medicine.
10. You FREAK THE EFF OUT if you accidentally ingest something with caffeine before bedtime.
11. Most nights, you only manage to get an hour or two of sleep, which almost feels worse than getting no sleep at all.
12. Every morning, all you want to do is go back to bed, but you can't, because you're an adult and you have shit to do.
13. You think it's completely unfair that you can't "call in sleepy" to work.
14. After a few days of not sleeping, everything starts to seem weird and surreal.
15. You start seeing things that aren't there. Was... was that a spider? Why is this room full of spiders? WHERE ARE ALL THESE BEES COMING FROM?
16. None of your friends and coworkers understand. They try to be helpful and suggest things like drinking warm milk before bed, and you're like, "yeah, OK."
17. When a friend says something like, "I was such an insomniac last night!" you need to take several deep breaths to keep from committing homicide.
18. You wish sleep was easy as pressing a button, but it's not.
19. On the plus side, your constant lack of sleep gives you that "heroin chic" look that was so popular in 1996.
