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The Definitive Ranking Of Poop

It's not the ranking we need, but the one we deserve right now.

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Poop is the one thing that unites us.

Everyone poops. The young and old, the rich and the poor. But not all poop is created equal. Here are the different kinds of poop, ranked for your pleasure.

8. Pregnancy Poops

Flickr: babies411 / Creative Commons

Lots of women poop during childbirth, which sounds pretty embarrassing, but it's pretty cool when you think about it. When your kid is a teenager and tries to talk back to you, you can be like, "Yeah, well I pooped on your head when you were a baby. Take that."

5. Classic Diarrhea

It might be surprising that classic diarrhea ranks so high, but remember: Diarrhea can get you out of anything. Next time you get a speeding ticket, try using diarrhea as an excuse. There's a 50/50 chance you'll be let off with a warning.

3. Slippery Snake Poop

Smooth and soft, the slippery snake poop is mysterious and elusive. It's the healthiest, most fibrous of poops. The only downside is that bathroom time is depressingly short.

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