22 Side Effects Of Working A Boring Job
Cubicle Coma is real, and it's an epidemic.
You know exactly how many tiles there are on the ceiling, and that one slightly askew tile might actually be driving you clinically insane.
Viral videos where people quit their jobs creatively make you cry harder than any heartwarming proposal video ever could.
You wonder when the American Psychiatric Association will add "Cubicle Coma" to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
You're in a committed, passionate, lustful relationship with coffee.
When you wash and fold your laundry, it generally looks like this:
And then you cry and get all your laundry wet with tears and have to wash it again.
You could fill a museum with all the doodles you've made during meetings. Like, you could honestly fill a wing of The Louvre.
You keep your brain from melting by utilizing your work supplies in creative ways.
Forests weep, for thou hast wasted millions of Post-it notes on giant mosaic murals.
You've come up with clever ways to nap at work without getting in trouble.
Most of your day is spent cycling through all the websites your company blocked, but you found a way around the firewall because you're a smartypants.
You've recited your phone greeting so many times that you might as well have it engraved on your tombstone.
When you try to explain to people what your job entails, their eyes glaze over and you can clock the exact time when they check out mentally.
You relate wholeheartedly to The Office, which is both a good thing and a terribly heartbreaking thing.
Your tolerance for dumb people has diminished.
...and your patience for faulty work equipment has gone the same route.
Every bathroom break feels like a mini vacation, and you'll draw it out as long as you possibly can.
After-work happy hour is your life's fuel.
And Sunday brunch has become sacred. It's a shelter in the storm of paperwork and menial tasks.
Your year-long frustrations and anxieties cause you to act a fool at the company Christmas party, and you spend the entire next year living it down.
You wonder why scientists have yet to explain why time literally slows down exponentially after lunch.
But then payday rolls around, and it all seems worth it. Almost.
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