22. Just a plain old ice cream cone
Imagine yourself traversing the halls of a magnificent mansion, completely exhausted, when you come across two doors. One leads to a luxurious spa, with hammocks, free massages, and calming noise. The other leads to a functional, but boring, bedroom.
Getting a regular ice cream cone from the ice cream truck is like picking the boring bedroom.
Food equivalent: That little piece of paper that sometimes gets stuck on the bottom of your candy when you unwrap it.
21. Cherry ice
Yes, it can be refreshing on a hot summer day, but it’s also basically just ice. Instead of spending the money, pour some grenadine over ice yourself. It’s kind of like a Shirley Temple…just only ice.
Food equivalent: Ice. Because it literally is ice.
20. Lemon Ice
See above. Except with lemon juice and probably a little sugar since otherwise it might be too acidic.
Food equivalent: Ice that is slightly tastier than that other ice.
The ultimate patriotic treat, the firecracker is perfect for the 4th of July. Other days, yeah, sure, but you could definitely do better. Just make sure not to try to throw this on the ground like the non-food firecrackers. Then you’ll just have ice cream on the ground.
Food equivalent: A slightly charred hot dog at your Memorial Day BBQ.
17. Bomb Pops
These pops weren’t quite the bomb (lol). They are essentially a Firecracker, but with different fruit flavors. Still, it was always fun watching the layers of color melt away as you kept going.
Food equivalent: A less-charred hot dog at your Memorial Day BBQ.
16. Pink Panther Bar
Do kids these days even know what the Pink Panther is? Do they? Or has the panther been replaced by all those Spongebobs and iCarlys and the like? Don’t forget the Pink Panther.
Food equivalent: A kind of gross jello-based dish from the ’60s that you keep eating anyway because it’s actually growing on you the more you eat.
15. Sonic the Hedgehog Bar
Another entry in the “cartoon characters” genre, Sonic moves ahead of the Pink Panther because of the video-game nostalgia. As you can see, the Sonic bars never come out looking quite like the character, but that’s part of their charm. Plus, the gum ball eyes are always fun.
Food equivalent: A piece of sushi that accidentally got way too much soy sauce on it and now you’re like, I guess this is still good.
A popsicle, just chocolate flavored. Kind of lazy. Kind of inspired. Keep on keepin’ on, fudgsicles.
Food equivalent: A vegan chocolate cake, and you’re like, this is good but it could definitely have been better if they used dairy.
13. Creamsicle Bars
Mmm, love that creamy goodness. The creaminess really helped pick up the somewhat lackluster orange-y flavor. But still, a solid choice. It’s like the B+ of ice cream truck treats.
Food equivalent: A sort-of dry cupcake except that it has perfect frosting so it’s definitely worth it.
12. Toasted Almond Bar
Toasted almond is always a controversial choice. Some people love the flavor. Others hate it. But you can’t deny that the little crumbles coating the outside of the ice cream gave this bar an A+ texture.
Food equivalent: A burrito filled with pseudo-questionable beans that some people love nonetheless.
11. Ice Cream Sandwiches
A classic. Perhaps the classic. The only downfall is how messy it can get, like when the sandwich kind of breaks off and sticks to your fingers. Like, smh sandwich, I just want to eat you and now you’re getting all over my hands.
Food equivalent: A warm bowl of mac and cheese on a cold winter night.
10. Push Up Pops
As with ice cream sandwiches, the main downfall is how messy they can get. Sure, it’s fun to push the little stick, but you’ve definitely got to watch out for drips. Eat with a paper towel or something and you should be in the clear.
Food equivalent: French fries, but you’re eating them during a bumpy car ride and you don’t have a napkin.
9. King Cone
The chocolate stripes. The smattering of nuts. Plus, it keeps its form pretty well, so there aren’t too many messes. It all comes together to form a delicious cone that has rightly earned its royal name.
Food equivalent: A well-put together chicken Caesar wrap on your favorite kind of tortilla.
8. Klondike Bar
♫ What would you do-ooo-ooo, for a Klondike Bar? ♫
Food equivalent: Depends on what you would actually do for a Klondike Bar.
7. Ice cream on a stick covered in chocolate (is there a real name for this even?)
It’s like a Klondike Bar, but on a stick. ON A STICK. There’s nothing quite like hearing the slight crack as a piece of chocolate breaks off and begins to melt its smooth, rich, chocolate-y self in your mouth. Yeah, that’s the stuff.
Food equivalent: A freshly-out-of-the-oven croissant, flaky and buttery and EVERYTHING.
6. Screw Balls
It’s the best of all worlds. Ice cream. Gumballs. Plus the element of mystery and surprise as you’re waiting to make it to the bottom of the cone. Just be careful not to eat too fast just to get there. You’ll make yourself sick. (This message brought to you by moms everywhere)
Food equivalent: The perfect seven-layer-dip poised right on top of the most crunchy chip you’ve ever seen.
It’s like the King Cone in many ways, but takes it to the next level. So much chocolate. So many nuts. YES.
Food equivalent: An actual drumstick, all fried and juicy and stuff.
4. Chocolate Eclair Bar
These bad boys have an incredible texture and lovely chocolate undertones, making them a solid choice at any ice cream truck. You can feel like you’re having a delicious French dessert — but it’s really just ice cream! Crazy how that works!!!
Food equivalent: An actual chocolate eclair, but there’s something just a little off about it. But it’s still amazing anyway.
Step back, ice cream sandwich. This is the real deal. When the cookies are just a little soft and chewy, it’s perfection. Plus, the name is legitimately the most perfect way to mash together “chocolate chip cookie” and “ice cream sandwich”. Just say it out loud. Chipwich. Yes.
Food equivalent: Truffle mac and cheese, because it takes it to the next level.
2. Strawberry Shortcake Bar
The best of the “cool texture” bars. Strawberry shortcake is a perfect dessert. This bar gives you all of that. It’s creamy, crunchy, and has a solid, yet not overwhelming, berry kick. GIVE THEM ALL TO ME NOW OK THANK YOU.
Food equivalent: Filet mignon, and then when you finish it, another filet mignon is immediately brought to you.
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