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Jan 13, 2015

The Ultimate Game Of Would You Rather For "Orange Is The New Black" Fans

How would you spend your time in Litchfield?

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  1. Would you rather have Sophia make you your own pair of stylish shower sandals or get a specially cooked meal from Red every night for a week?

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Would you rather have Sophia make you your own pair of stylish shower sandals or get a specially cooked meal from Red every night for a week?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Sophia's sandals. I don't know what's on the floor in those bathrooms.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Red's a pretty good cook, so I'm sure she could whip up something special.
  1. Would you rather be stuck in prison until Norma speaks (of her own accord) or have your enemy accuse you of stealing a screwdriver and send you to SHU for a month, but you will be released from prison afterward?

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Would you rather be stuck in prison until Norma speaks (of her own accord) or have your enemy accuse you of stealing a screwdriver and send you to SHU for a month, but you will be released from prison afterward?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Norma has to talk at some point... right?
  2.  
    vote votes
    I'll just take my one month in SHU and be done with it. Who knows when Norma will speak?
  1. Would you rather have the athletic abilities of Watson or the artistic abilities of Daya?

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Would you rather have the athletic abilities of Watson or the artistic abilities of Daya?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Watson — girl can run.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Daya — girl can draw.
Netflix
  1. Would you rather have to spend an entire day with Pornstache or spend an entire day with Pennsatucky?

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Would you rather have to spend an entire day with Pornstache or spend an entire day with Pennsatucky?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Pornstache may be skeevy, but he's not as bad as Pennsatucky.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Pennsatucky all the way. As long as you get on her good side, you're OK.
  1. Would you rather win the mock job fair or be given your choice of role in the Christmas pageant?

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Would you rather win the mock job fair or be given your choice of role in the Christmas pageant?
  1.  
    vote votes
    I want the pride of winning that job fair and proving my skills.
  2.  
    vote votes
    The pageant would be my moment to shine.
  1. Would you rather have 15 counseling sessions with Healy or have Fig be in charge of every decision you make for an entire day?

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Would you rather have 15 counseling sessions with Healy or have Fig be in charge of every decision you make for an entire day?
  1.  
    vote votes
    I wouldn't take any of his advice, but I could make it through counseling with Healy.
  2.  
    vote votes
    She may be a snake, but Fig can't do that much damage in just one day.
  1. Would you rather have to spend one month in the SHU or have to room with Soso for your entire prison stay?

    Assuming that you are in prison for one year.

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Would you rather have to spend one month in the SHU or have to room with Soso for your entire prison stay?
  1.  
    vote votes
    The SHU may be lonely, but Soso is just too annoying, TBH.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Soso means well, and at least she's better than nothing.
Netflix
  1. Would you rather go into business with Vee for a month or be banned from the commissary for a year?

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Would you rather go into business with Vee for a month or be banned from the commissary for a year?
  1.  
    vote votes
    I could make it safely through a month with Vee. I think.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Screw the commissary, as long as you keep me away from Vee.
  1. Would you rather be Larry's roommate or Polly's business partner?

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Would you rather be Larry's roommate or Polly's business partner?
  1.  
    vote votes
    I don't get all the Larry hate; he seems like a good enough guy.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Polly seems like she'd have some solid business acumen.
  1. Would you rather get...special treatment...from Nicky every day for a week, or get special cooking from Gloria every day for a month?

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Would you rather get...special treatment...from Nicky every day for a week, or get special cooking from Gloria every day for a month?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Nicky definitely knows what she is doing, if you know what I mean.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Gloria's cooking skills are more important than a roll in the hay (or behind the church altar, as it were).
Netflix
  1. Would you rather have an illicit prison romance like Daya and Bennett but have to worry about the repercussions if anyone finds out, or not have the romance at all but not have to worry about facing major consequences?

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Would you rather have an illicit prison romance like Daya and Bennett but have to worry about the repercussions if anyone finds out, or not have the romance at all but not have to worry about facing major consequences?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Love is worth the risk.
  2.  
    vote votes
    I'll be fine all by myself. It's not worth the potential consequences.
  1. Would you rather be stuck taking 30-second showers because of plumbing issues or be able to shower as long as you want but not be able to wear any sandals to the shower?

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Would you rather be stuck taking 30-second showers because of plumbing issues or be able to shower as long as you want but not be able to wear any sandals to the shower?
  1.  
    vote votes
    I can learn to take quick showers. No way I'd risk getting covered in... that.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Going without sandals is better than only having 30 seconds of shower time.
  1. Would you rather have Morello's van-driving job, and thus be able to travel outside the prison walls, or be allowed to do what you please instead of work but are thus stuck inside?

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Would you rather have Morello's van-driving job, and thus be able to travel outside the prison walls, or be allowed to do what you please instead of work but are thus stuck inside?
  1.  
    vote votes
    I would need to get out, and the open road seems like a perfect way to do it.
  2.  
    vote votes
    I'd have free rein to nap or read or do anything? I can give up a change of scenery for that.
Netflix
  1. Would you rather be in a relationship with Poussey but have a falling-out with your parents because of it or be best friends with Taystee but never have another romantic relationship?

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Would you rather be in a relationship with Poussey but have a falling-out with your parents because of it or be best friends with Taystee but never have another romantic relationship?
  1.  
    vote votes
    I need love, and Poussey is worth it.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Taystee's friendship will help make up for the lack of romance in my life.
  1. Would you rather eat a pie after Crazy Eyes has thrown it on the floor every day for a month or eat one sandwich that Red has placed a tampon in just one time?

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Would you rather eat a pie after Crazy Eyes has thrown it on the floor every day for a month or eat one sandwich that Red has placed a tampon in just one time?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Even a month of nasty prison-floor pie wouldn't be as gross as a tampon sandwich.
  2.  
    vote votes
    It's probably more disgusting, but at least the sandwich is one and done.
  1. Would you rather *finally* catch the chicken or finally learn the entirety of that damn eggplant joke?

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Would you rather *finally* catch the chicken or finally learn the entirety of that damn eggplant joke?
  1.  
    vote votes
    It's more than just a chicken — it's a symbol of victory. And it will be mine.
  2.  
    vote votes
    I NEED TO KNOW THIS JOKE.
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