1. Wine glass markers for 15% off, so you can label your drink and live without fear of someone else mistakenly sipping from your glass — gross!
2. A vintage-styled dress for 15% off with adorable cap sleeves that'll have you looking like a snack.
6. A perfectly pink shower curtain for 54% off that'll transform your bathroom from drab to fab the moment you hang it up.
7. A 23andMe DNA test for 50% off, in case you've been dying for confirmation you are 100% THAT cupcake.
11. Cupcake liners in fun shapes for 20% off, a must-have for shape-shifting in a flash when your ex comes callin'.
12. A Sonicare electric toothbrush for 59% off that'll keep you smiling even if you eat as many sweets as I do!
13. A 24-pack of cat food for 45% off in case you ALSO have a cat as fabulous (and spoiled) as Sprinkles.
14. Beats Solo3 Wireless On-Ear Headphones for 53% off so you can tune out from the never ending toxic news cycle.
15. Cozy wine-themed socks that'll quickly become part of your I'm-home-don't-bother-me-until-Monday uniform for 20% off. They even come wrapped up like a cupcake!
16. A fuschia Cricut bundle for 31% off because I KNOW you've been dying to craft your heart out while watching The Great British Bake Off. It's a vibe.
18. Poo-Pourri Before-You-Go Toilet Spray for 43% off, so even when you ~do your business~ your bathroom will still smell as delicious as a cupcake.
20. A Sphero robot ball for 12% off that is simply adorable AF and will make you want to stay home all weekend so you can play.
21. A 5-quart KitchenAid mixer you've probably been dreaming about buying for your entire adult life for 48% off.
24. An Anne Klein watch and Swarovski crystal bracelet set for up to 56% off you could give as a fabulous gift but you should selfishly keep for yourself.
25. A marble and brass table lamp for 30% off to easily bring an element of refinery to your apartment — I just know you're tryna be a classy bitch.
26. Waterproof liquid eyeliner from Stila for 30% off, so you can FINALLY execute a cat-eye you can be proud of.
27. A jewelry box with multiple compartments for rings, earrings, bracelets, and necklaces for 20% off, a must for storing all your bling.
28. And a lip kit from Lady Gaga's makeup line, Haus Laboratories, so I don't look like an actual Little Monster when I go out on a date.
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.