1. To hell with you and your festive sweater vest.
2. If I can't be jolly, NO ONE CAN.
3. Santa Cat just wants to retire to the land where there are no children.
4. It will happen when you sleep. My revenge.
5. Better check that eggnog for arsenic. Or don't.
6. First, my balls. AND NOW THIS?!
7. Seconds away from pulling a Grinch and pissing on everything you own.
8. I regret every cuddle.
9. There's a special place in hell for you, Human.
10. Literally hating everything right now.
11. BRB trying to kill holiday cheer with death rays.
12. To Do List: barf on your favorite rug.
13. It's only the day after Thanksgiving?!
14. Thinking about tearing that expensive new couch to shreds, no big deal.
15. Welcome to the 12 Days of Hell.
16. It burns-s-s us, precious!!
17. I asked nicely the first time.
18. Can't figure out why you don't love me anymore.
19. I AM NOT A CHRISTMAS TREE.
20. OH this? Show me where is says "for Santa."
21. NONONONO! HELP ME OPRAH!
22. Heard these make great shanks...
23. Smell that? Check your shoes. All of them.
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