1. You’re out at the bar with your friends and have gotten sufficiently liquored up
2. Which means you’ve finally mustered up enough liquid courage to go talk to the hot guy you’ve been eyeing up all night
oddly enough he didn’t go for it. he must be gay.
3. So you try to get a free drink by flirting with the bartender and in your head you’re like:
But in reality you’re like:
hmm that didn’t work either
4. So you move on to the dance floor
5. Except you actually look ridiculous
6. But your bestie stops you from making a complete fool of yourself so you profess your undying love for her
7. Time for a pee break! Luckily you end up talking to a random girl in the bathroom
8. Then you go find your other friends and tell them about some genius idea you came up with
why didn’t we go streaking through the park sooner?
9. But one of your more sober friends thinks it’s time to call it a night
10. You reluctantly leave and immediately pour your heart out to the cab driver
what if i never find “the one”????
11. And of course no night is complete without a minor injury
you’ll definitely feel that one in the morning
12. But you finally manage to make it to bed
- President Trump laid out an ambitious agenda in his speech to Congress, but Republicans are still divided on how to pass that agenda.
- The FBI is investigating if bomb threats against Jewish centers came from an internet "troll" and are profiling a lone, young, tech-savvy person.
- Facebook is using artificial intelligence for suicide prevention, scanning feeds for signs of people at risk of self-harm, then offering resources for help.
- Uber's CEO said he's "seeking leadership help" after dash-cam footage was published of him aggressively arguing with a company driver 😳