1. This man can't believe he is finally holding the elixir of life in his own two unworthy hands.
2. This man can't believe he is finally able to show his firstborn iPhone the land it will rule over until the end of time.
3. This man can't believe he fought off the haters who didn't believe and has emerged TRIUMPHANT.
4. This man can't believe that he won't have to update all of his friends about his new phone individually, because he's on the news.
5. These men can't believe they finally have not one but two iPhones to not text back from.
6. This man can't believe his new iPhone is multipurposed and can be used as a catapult.
7. This man can't believe that his manager will not accept getting a new iPhone as a legitimate reason to be late for work.
8. This man cannot believe that Apple has finally given him the gift of joy.
9. This man can't believe that you don't need to be good at sport to feel jubilation.
10. This man cannot believe he is the fastest iPhone buyer in the world, and he's loving it
11. This man can't believe that he all he had to do to be the centre of attention was purchase an iPhone.
12. This man can't believe that during another important moment in his life, he is overshadowed by his best friend.
Move over, Brian!
13. These men can't believe they have a sexy iPhone to share their bed with every night.
14. This man can't believe that he can FINALLY delete the Stocks app.
15. This man can't believe he will finally be able to take his hat off and hold the REAL thing.
16. This man can't believe his parents made him take his little sister to the iPhone launch too.
17. This man really, truly, believes that this time his charger cable will last longer than three months.
