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  • Glass Closet

    Ever since, I came out of the closet. I have left liberated and free. I could be myself and not follow what others think of me. To be precise, I could be myself. However, in the process of stepping out of the closet, I lost quite a few friends. They weren’t happy with new “me”. I realized it by their opinions of what should be the “straight” way to do it. I was confused with the ease with which they could act as “straight-acting gay men”. I don’t get it. How can a gay man be “straight-acting”? Yes. I am pretty aware of the masculinity and femininity characteristics in human beings. But, why would you impose such masculine characteristics to gay men? Why are we segregated as “effeminate men”? It would be a delight to let men be just who they are and you respect that about a person. I am talking about certain instances of gay men who are trapped inside Glass Closets. The world can see that they are gay, but they aren’t proud of their sexuality. I am going to share couple of instances where I have met gay men who are in glass closets. 1.I have met a gay man through his boyfriend. We hit it off right away because he was interested in theatre and I was acting in many theatrical plays. We used to hang-out and have beers. I thought this is a wonderful friendship. He was more like a guy who loves to travel, have beer with friends during weekend and date “straight acting” gay men. I was alright with his choices because I respected that. But the moment he saw me do drag for performance, he changed. He started avoiding hanging out with me; gave opinions on why he hates drag etc. He is friendly to me. However, he prefers to be in the closet because he feels it is safe. Why I spoke about this particular type of gay man was that he isn’t comfortable with his sexuality. I have heard him say,” Gay life is a cursed life.” He was never comfortable around effeminate gay men and considered them as “faggots”. 2.Last summer, I had met this talented man through a dating app. He was an extraordinary dancer. We had hit it off right away. The only catch was that I wasn’t supposed to share information on his sexuality with anyone. This is because of the fear of losing students when he teaches dance. Fair enough, I respected that. But, there were times when he teased at the way I maintained my body and it wasn’t right for him to do so. Just because I didn’t fit into his version of a masculine body structure, it isn’t fair to impose a sculpted body on every gay man you meet. He freaked out when his name was mentioned along with gay men in a newspaper. It was unnecessary drama because he was living in a glass closet. The above instances are just experiences of how “straight- acting” gay men discriminate against effeminate gay men. The reasons could be because of masculine-feminine bias, not being comfortable with one’s sexuality or having double standards. It can be their choice in the end of the day. But, it’s always good to step out of the closet earlier in life than later. The pride flag represents all the colors of the LGBT community. The flag doesn’t represent one color or fight for only gay rights. It doesn’t represent masculinity. It represents various kinds of people of diverse ethnicities and skin color. It represents the people who can be themselves. The flag gives us hope that it is “ok” to be yourself because we are born this way. So, whatever the men in glass closets would say to you, you are fabulous!! We aren’t meant to please everyone. We are the children of wild, born to show the world that we are meant to be different and sane. Closets are meant only for clothes not for human beings. So, break that damn closet down and be free!! ‘Coz baby, you were born this way.