21 Reasons Everyone Should Move To Scotland Immediately

Especially if there's an opportunity to kick someone in the balls.

"We're gonnae batter you like a fucking pizza, pal."

Everyone moved away from the Highlands and Islands because we wanted to be able to get Ocado home delivery, so there’s plenty of space up north.

Whisky is also known as the water of life, which means its basically a health drink. Also, if you drink enough of it you won't care that 2016 is a trash-fire nightmare.

Like this beautiful full Scottish breakfast, which contains all the vital nutrients you need to survive the New World Order: crunchy bits, toast, grease, and beans.

Going for a walk along the Strathaird Peninsula will soothe your worries. Not least because it's over 4,000 miles away from the continental United States.

The Old Man of Storr on Skye is the perfect place to keep watch for angry mobs driven into wild rages by the rapidly increasing price of Marmite.

Don't actually try and swim in this shimmering teal water beside Seilebost beach, though. Unless you want your genitals to get frostbite and fall off.

Like Camasunary Bothy on the Isle of Skye. But if you visit, make sure you follow the Bothy Code, even if you're the last surviving human in a ravaged wasteland.

Lets all move to Shuna off the west coast, stock up on tinned food, and disconnect our Wi-Fi so we never have to know what happened after Brexit.

It's called the Beer Moth, and it comes with a free axe. Ideal!

It's highly unlikely that any shuffling hordes of post-nuclear holocaust mutant zombies will find you in this gorgeous turf-roofed eco-lodge on the Isle of Islay.

You can ward off any number of bloodthirsty savages, Mad Max-style anarchists, and white walkers from Dunnottar Fortress in Aberdeenshire.

The Old Forge in Knoydart is listed by the Guinness Book of Records as the most remote pub on the British mainland. The pub is only accessible by boat or canoe, by an 18-mile hike over a mountain and through dense forest, or by seaplane.