A friend just sent me a video of me singing back in the day and the lil munchkin started moving like crazy! Let's hope it wasn't just gas!
— Jessica Simpson (@JessicaSimpson) February 28, 2012
Did we all read the Berenstain Bears when we were little? Sad to hear that Jan Berenstain, 88, has gone into permanent hibernation.
— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) February 27, 2012
Just got a pat down by TSA before my flight. Yowza! Very intimate!
— kyra sedgwick (@kyrasedgwick) February 28, 2012
If I delivered a album better then GET RICH OR DIE TRYING this year would it surprise you ?
— 50cent (@50cent) February 28, 2012
It's beautiful watching this dog, cat and rat living such balanced lives...http://ow.ly/9l7bd twitter.com/cesarmillan/st…
— Cesar Millan (@cesarmillan) February 28, 2012
Are you a practising homosexual? No, I do not need to practice I have it down!
— boygeorge (@BoyGeorge) February 28, 2012
I gave up sweets for Lent.....do throat lozenges count?
— Elizabeth Hurley (@ElizabethHurley) February 28, 2012
I think I'm the first person who will go to rehab for exhaustion and say its "drug abuse"
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) February 28, 2012
"I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering" #imandaily
— Iman Abdulmajid (@The_Real_IMAN) February 28, 2012
Hey guys, any decision we make could totally ruin our lives. Have a fun day!
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) February 28, 2012
Thinking of having sex in a hot tub? The heat and chlorine can damage condoms so if you use condoms, don't have sex in the tub itself.
— Dr. Ruth Westheimer (@AskDrRuth) February 28, 2012
I can finally say it DANCING WITH THE STARS That's Me & @IamValC YOWSA! #fb twitpic.com/8pu3hu
— Sherri Shepherd (@SherriEShepherd) February 28, 2012
I might start carrying a skateboard places.
— Eric Stonestreet (@ericstonestreet) February 28, 2012
Gladys Knight is doing Dancing With The Stars I hope she doesn't try the splits or Gladys is gonna 2 taking the Midnight Train 2 Cedar Sinai
— DL Hughley (@RealDlHughley) February 28, 2012
Thinkin of recycling some of my old myspace.com posts.
— Jeffrey Ross (@realjeffreyross) February 28, 2012
Check this out! I'm doing dancing w/the stars!extratv.warnerbros.com/2012/02/extras…
— maria menounos (@mariamenounos) February 28, 2012
I was so nervous on gma!!all around I'm terrified yet excited I learn how to dance!thanks to @extratv for being so supportive!fun times!
— maria menounos (@mariamenounos) February 28, 2012
Thanks for all the sweet messages guys!gonna count on all of you for support throughout this grueling process! #positiveenergy
— maria menounos (@mariamenounos) February 28, 2012
First @Starbucks of the day from the home of @Starbucks in Seattle twitter.com/DavidOtunga/st…
— David Otunga (@DavidOtunga) February 28, 2012
Liz Taylor is the new Marilyn. Change your tattoos troubled actresses!
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) February 28, 2012
I was so surprised Laura Linney didn't win the Oscar for Downton.
— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) February 28, 2012
Don't read between the lines.Just read the lines.I don't write secret messages.Ever.
— Donnie Wahlberg (@DonnieWahlberg) February 28, 2012
Lucy Liu is playing Watson in the new Sherlock? This Jeremy Lin-ization of American culture is getting way out of control.
— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) February 28, 2012
I applied to be on The Bachelor and they emailed me back with a picture of a middle finger.
— Jon Friedman (@friedmanjon) February 28, 2012
A friend made fun of me for wearing a helmet while bike riding. I can't wait to make fun of him for his brain damage. #smugtweet
— Rider Strong (@onthestorm) February 28, 2012
Passed out @ Kodak Theater. Orchestra, Row F. Need ride 2 after party. Wait. What day is it? Shit. Need ride 2 drop off tux rental. Stat.
— Jim Rash (@RashisTVUgly) February 28, 2012
What do you think of this photo? Write a caption for it! fb.me/1cxtg3Rvo
— Enrique Iglesias (@enrique305) February 28, 2012
I am, little kid in the back seat of a car, sleepy right now. (Tucks penis, then lays down & folds arms over my chest like Wednesday)
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) February 28, 2012
Today's lesson: make sure the top to your water bottle is screwed on before putting it in your purse. I'm an ass.
— judy greer (@missjudygreer) February 28, 2012
me pon de booth last night.. LYM!! twitter.com/MariahCarey/st…
— Mariah Carey (@MariahCarey) February 28, 2012
how jealous are seal teams 1,2,3,5,7,8 and 10?
— h. jon benjamin (@HJBenjamin) February 28, 2012
Shockingly Brad Pitt isn't on Linkedin. I was really hoping to add him as a contact or maybe ask him for a recommendation.
— Mark Malkoff (@mmalkoff) February 28, 2012
My hotel bathroom is equipped with some type of ass-freshening wand. Is there literally nothing we will not subject hotel housekeepers to?
— Samantha Bee (@iamsambee) February 28, 2012
#NeverQuitinMyDayJob ;) #working #KOH lockerz.com/s/188009747
— Cassie (@officialcas) February 28, 2012
Guy in his 70's at the gym just said to me: "If I use this machine in front of you, are you going to make comments about my tush?"
— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) February 28, 2012
I replied: "I won't make a comment but I can't guarantee I won't stare at it.":)
— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) February 28, 2012
This came out of my face today: 'How you doing buddy, man.' Informal double dumb greeting.
— marc maron (@marcmaron) February 28, 2012
there is something in the tree outside my window that sounds like a cross between a parrot and a donkey....wtf???
— Belinda Carlisle (@belindaofficial) February 28, 2012
is it a bird???
— Belinda Carlisle (@belindaofficial) February 28, 2012
I am so excited for it to be March tomorrow. I really like March and have been looking forward to it for a long time. Tomorrow it's here!
— B.J. Novak (@bjnovak) February 28, 2012
WHAT
— B.J. Novak (@bjnovak) February 28, 2012
Maybe. RT @biggayicecream: @Andy_Richter my balls itch, can I get a RT?
— Andy Richter (@Andy_Richter) February 28, 2012
Getn hair done n jamaica ya mon! yfrog.com/obce5sgj
— Snoop Dogg (@SnoopDogg) February 28, 2012
My Moms Tequila Tolerance Is Pretty Rad :-)
— Wiz Khalifa (@RealWizKhalifa) February 28, 2012
"Set phasers to Stunning" - Fashion Trek
— Peter Serafinowicz (@serafinowicz) February 28, 2012
People never seem to notice Penn Jillette and myself in this photo!lockerz.com/s/188011169
— Arsenio Hall (@ArsenioOFFICIAL) February 28, 2012
Spending my morning baking soft cinnamon rolls for a sweet breakfast surprise in nothing but bitty boy-shorts -- muah :)
— Courtney Stodden (@CourtneyStodden) February 28, 2012
The cupcake bakery next to my gym closed. Question: will I ever go to the gym again?
— R.L. Stine (@RL_Stine) February 28, 2012
I've never seen people drink more coffee and do less shit. #LA
— Gavin McInnes (@Gavin_McInnes) February 28, 2012
Girl on Bachelor: "I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be or anyone else I'd rather be with." How about NYC and Clooney.
— Alec Sulkin (@thesulk) February 28, 2012
Pulling Marilyn's leg! twitter.com/katiecouric/st…
— Katie Couric (@katiecouric) February 28, 2012
Alana (HONEY BOO BOO CHILD) from Toddlers & Tiaras is getting her own show.Guess that special GO-GO Juice really DOES help her win.
— Cheyenne Jackson (@cheyennejackson) February 28, 2012
I watched 3 episodes of 'My Strange Addiction' last night.. Dude had a sexual relationship with his car.I LOVE cars but REALLY??!!
— ICE T (@FINALLEVEL) February 28, 2012
I just met a 'Make A Wish' kid with cancer on the SVU set. His wish was to meet ME...... That's deep.
— ICE T (@FINALLEVEL) February 28, 2012
Aliens run the music industry. I'm not supposed to tweet that.
— ☯ k®♎∆§µ∆w♬ ☯ ︻╦╤─(@KREAYSHAWN) February 28, 2012
Lots of handwringing re declining movie viewership.Solution:make better movies!
— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) February 28, 2012