Here are Christina Aguilera’s official thoughts on bloggers, blogs, and the internet:
“Now everyone is a critic. I don’t read blogs. It’s just God-knows-who in Buttfuck wherever writing hate shit. You can’t take it seriously. I’m sure you’ve all been hated on at some point by buttfuck people.”
We love you too, Xtina.
Years later, Rod Stewart finally explained the decades-old rumor about his “stomach full of man chowder”:
“I used to have this guy work for me, he was a gay publicist… I had to fire him because he did something terrible, which I won’t go into. He wanted revenge so he started this rumor about me, and it was horrible because my kids were at school. So that is definitely not true. I’m as heterosexual as they come.”
“I don’t know how to have a normal relationship because I try to act normal, love from a normal place and live a normal life. But there is sort of an abnormal magnifying glass, like telescope lenses, on everything that happens between me and anybody else. I don’t really know that much about love, it turns out.”
Justin Timberlake apologized for the video of homeless people that his friends made for his wedding.
Oh I see what you did there: Kim Kardashian might already be engaged to Kanye West and is waiting until her divorce is finalized to announce it.
Stop what you’re doing and look at these pictures of Joe Simpson.
Naomi Campbell has THE coolest house.
Susan Sarandon will have none of that marriage nonsense, thank you.
Zach Braff sold a series to ABC called Garage Bar about a group of friends dealing with fame after one of them becomes a pop star.
That’s enough, Coco.
Ken Marino’s Bachelor spoof, Burning Love, will get another season.
Bill Cosby and Selena Gomez know something that we don’t know.
Solange will drop a new album on November 27th.
Dolly Parton is gonna dress real trashy on Halloween.
Lil Wayne was rushed to the hospital yesterday afternoon after suffering “seizure-like symptoms” on his private jet.
Seth Green will fell while crowd surfing at a nightclub in London.
Reese Witherspoon will duet with Michael Buble.
What do you think Jennifer Aniston is going to do for Halloween?
Leighton Meester cut her hair off, loves it.
Jonah Hill was seen chatting up a blonde.
Maria Bamford has a tiny part in the new Arrested Development.
Selena Gomez might be sticking with Justin Bieber because it’s good for her brand.
It’s official, television has run out of ideas: Bravo is developing a drama about Coke versus Pepsi.
Jessica Biel is changing her name to Timberlake because it’s “the jackpot of names.”
Bobby Brown is rumored to be considering rehab after his second DUI arrest.
Lindsay Lohan’s publicist quit.
Ke$ha says she’s going as Dog The Bounty Hunter for Halloween.
Julianne Hough’s first crush was her boyfriend Ryan Seacrest. Really?
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Oh sweetie. Unfortunately you’re no creative genius and even us “buttfuck” normal people have opinions about shit. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, its the only reason anyone will pay you to do b-list tv stints despite having no impact on pop culture in several years.
- Richard Parker thinks Christina Aguilera Shares Her Thought... is Fail & Trashy