Hello Twitter!And they said it would never happen.Oh wait, that was me.
— Betty White (@BettyMWhite) April 10, 2012
Hey @RyanSeacrest - my new show airs tomorrow and I hear we're in the same time slot.I've always dreamed of sharing a night with you...
— Betty White (@BettyMWhite) April 10, 2012
Not sure if it is the jet lag or if I really am being taken from behind by a sphinx twitter.com/Alancumming/st…
— Alan Cumming (@Alancumming) April 11, 2012
Think i offended the woman next to me at the airport by looking at Miley Cyrus' side boob on my iPad
— BEST COAST (@bestycoastyy) April 11, 2012
Just killed back to back spin classes. Eating a salad dreaming of a cheeseburger #PopSingersDontEat #IWasBornThisWay
— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) April 10, 2012
It's finally happened. I have nothing to say.
— jonathan katz (@jonathan_katz) April 11, 2012
What sick looks like...HELP! instagr.am/p/JRLvN3RjSp/
— LA LA(@lala) April 11, 2012
I would never burn money. Unless you count the ten grand I spent on cat jackets.
— Russell Brand (@rustyrockets) April 11, 2012
I love you Internet! I love you hand! I love you penis!
— Ben Hoffman (@BeniHoff) April 11, 2012
I love meeting new people EXCEPT when it goes like this: "you look so much...*softer* in person" (hand reaches out to touch my face)
— Samantha Bee (@iamsambee) April 11, 2012
It's really important to me that my kids learn another language, which is one of the reasons I'm teaching them to speak Ikea at an early age
— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) April 11, 2012
@CarolineManzo be afraid
— Andy Cohen (@BravoAndy) April 11, 2012
Sometimes I think about u-the 180k ppl who follow me and never write, I wonder "How are they;What are they doing, am I just another tweet?"
— Leah Remini (@LeahRemini) April 11, 2012
I have a new movie idea, it is called "Welcome To Creepsville" and it stars me going to my neighborhood CVS at quarter to eleven tonight
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) April 11, 2012
80's week. I'm really Getting in the spirit. instagr.am/p/JSdM4tsTC6/
— Serena Williams (@serenawilliams) April 11, 2012
I know it isn't ethical, but a part of me is tempted to take books of matches from restaurants now and then -- and never buy matches again.
— B.J. Novak (@bjnovak) April 11, 2012
In kindergarden, I was always trynna date the boy who had the 64 color pack w the sharpener.. they always ran that muthafucka! #PowerCouple
— Aubrey O'Day (@AubreyODay) April 11, 2012
Going down rabbit hole of looking up each twitter account quoted on Taco Bell'sNew extreme twitter Doritos soda cup.
— Dan Harmon (@danharmon) April 11, 2012
Too early to fly. So tired. So sad to say goodbye. #wowijustdidthat
— Adrian Grenier (@adriangrenier) April 11, 2012
Just heard a song where in it LL Cool J said "You KNOW I'm shittin'!" Well... I'd sure hate to be the janitor in HIS studio.
— Chris D'Elia (@chrisdelia) April 11, 2012
Oddity of the day: Fruit salad anyone? twitter.com/1jamiebell/sta…
— Jamie Bell (@1jamiebell) April 11, 2012
I wish I was eruditer.
— Peter Serafinowicz (@serafinowicz) April 11, 2012
Why is all yogurt suddenly "Greek style?"
— Scott Aukerman (@ScottAukerman) April 11, 2012
season two dallas will seduce george.costumes, lights, swings, poles, dry-ice, back up singers, fully-catered.he doesn't stand a chance.
— cheryl hines (@realcherylhines) April 11, 2012
I Sing The Body Electric
— Lana Del Rey (@LanaDelRey) April 11, 2012
Why do we love the men we love????? SERIOUSLY????? WHY????? Why can't we love the ones we SHOULD love?? I give up..going to bed...xxxo
— Kirstie Alley (@kirstiealley) April 11, 2012
I forgot to pack my clarisonic brush!! Ugh. Disaster. My skin is soooo mad at me
— Brad Goreski (@mrbradgoreski) April 11, 2012
If Mitt is elected, Ann Romney will only be the second Wiccan in history to live in the White House!
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) April 11, 2012
Damn my mother! Doing some writing & am reminded that I inherited sweaty palms from her. Well, at least my essence is truly on the page!
— Lou Diamond Phillips (@LouDPhillips) April 11, 2012
Whenever I see a UPS guy pull up with a package outside someone's building I yell "what's in the booooox" like brad pitt. #noidont
— josh groban (@joshgroban) April 11, 2012
Check out this dog? say.ly/jeU33sR
— Brett Ratner (@BrettRatner) April 11, 2012
