82 Things People Addicted To “Kim Kardashian: Hollywood” Know To Be True

Willow Pape is the worst.

1. Everybody’s gotta start somewhere.

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2. That NO ONE is needier than Simon’s annoying ass.

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3. When it’s actually important to pick up the phone.

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4. Guys are assholes.

6. And more importantly, Willow Pape is Paris Hilton.

7. Sometimes you gotta show a little skin if you want to get ahead.

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8. And then you must defend your choices.

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9. Kim Kardashian is a very motivational individual.

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10. Guys are assholes.

11. How to dazzle a crowd.

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12. Dating is easy.

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13. It also costs money.

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14. The best financial deals aren’t necessarily the best career moves.

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15. It’s easy to promote a product…

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16. …until it isn’t.

Oops.

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17. Guys are assholes.

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18. Kim is a needy friend.

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19. Elizabeth Korkov is Anna Wintour.

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20. She’s not very nice.

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AND she’s B-list.

21. That the Hollywood sign has been replaced.

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22. True fashion = Kim Kardashian’s actual clothing.

23. Guys are assholes.

24. Any photographer that does the Kardashian Kristmas Kard must be a good one.

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25. It’s all about that energy.

26. HAND HUGS!

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27. Busses are the hottest way to get around town.

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28. And if you DO drive, these are the only cars worth having.

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29. A really flattering way to stand is with one hand on your hip.

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30. Willow Pape is the WORST HUMAN.

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32. And EVERYONE has been personally victimized by her.

33. Kim is BUSY.

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34. Guys are assholes.

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35. What the right side of Kim’s mansion looks like.

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36. And what the left of Kim’s mansion looks like.

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37. Modeling is all about confidence and trying not to trip.

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38. Also, swagger.

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39. And Tyra Banks was right: It’s all about the smize.

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40. How to tolerate creepy come-ons like, “You smell nice.”

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41. Guys are assholes.

42. Kim Kardashian is an active supporter of charities.

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43. Good shoes are important.

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44. How to tell when a guy is flirting (by whether or not he puts his right arm behind his head).

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45. Not to get so drunk that you accidentally shit-talk the brand you’re promoting.

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46. Kim has feelings.

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47. Lots of feelings.

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…about her mom, Kris:

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48. And if you listen to Kim’s entire sob story, you might even get a REAL hug!

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49. Guys are assholes.

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50. Exclusivity is important.

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51. Kourtney is the least favorite sister.

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In the “Kardash NY” store you can see portraits of Khloe, Kim, and… Kourtney’s face is behind a vase of flowers.

52. It’s cool to stare at your nails.

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53. Kim Kardashian knows what LARPing is.

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54. Sometimes there’s only one answer in life.

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55. Haters are everywhere.

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56. In Kim’s world, it only costs $35 to fly from LAX to JFK — or Mexico.

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57. And this bra cost $975.

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58. Guys are assholes.

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59. Ray Powers is kind of an asshole.

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60. Modeling is easy.

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61. How to enjoy the shade.

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62. Behind every photo opp is some publicist trying to get press.

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63. Tweets = fans.

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64. There is no crying in modeling.

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65. This is Willow’s lunchbox:

66. It’s not cool to be broken up with over the phone.

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67. New homes = new fans.

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68. Kim uses the term “momager” in everyday life.

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69. Guys are assholes.

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It’s not all about YOU, Cole.

70. Acting is just lying.

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71. We’re all going to die one day.

72. MONEY DOES GROW ON TREES.

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73. This is how you see the word now.

74. Guys are assholes.

75. Having no goals is actually quite refreshing.

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76. Willow Pape cannot handle her alcohol.

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77. The game is true to life.

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Really.

78. Guys are assholes.

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79. How it feels to make the A-list.

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80. There is no better feeling than this:

81. AND THERE IS NO WORSE FEELING THAN THIS:

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82. THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW.

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