You forgot the part about having a continuous string of colds and various other minor illnesses you get the first year. All the hand sanitizer and preventive medicine in the world to render you immune to the unholy quantities of viruses you will encounter that year. It’s a good thing everyone brings a box of tissues on the first day, but it’s not a good thing when you realize they are going to be used by you personally!!! This rant has been brought to you by fistfulls of generic cold and allergy medicines. Whee!