Is A Deadly Great White Shark Heading Straight For The U.K.?

Nope.

1. EVERYBODY PANIC!

2. SHARK IS COMING!

3. SHARK IS COMING!

So over the past few days, there have been media reports that a DEADLY GREAT WHITE SHARK is just TWO DAYS or possibly THREE DAYS away from the coast of Britain. The shark’s name, terrifyingly, is Lydia.

But is there any reason to believe that Lydia is heading to feast on the unwary surfers of Cornwall?

4. Here’s Lydia.

Lydia was fitted with an electronic tag last year by the Ocearch project, who have been tracking her movements.

5. This is where Lydia has travelled since being tagged off Florida in March 2013.

As the map shows, Lydia has been exhibiting behaviour that marine biologists refer to as “swimming around a bit”.

6. Here are her movements over the past month, which apparently were enough to prompt fears that she was making a beeline for the beaches of the UK.

7. OH MY GOD IT’S HEADING STRAIGHT FOR US.

No, wait.

8. Actually, if you look at what Lydia’s been doing this past week, you can see that she’s been pretty precisely swimming up the Mid-Atlantic Ridge.

The Mid-Atlantic Ridge does not lead to the shores of Britain. It leads to Iceland. (The shark probably isn’t going there either.)

9. In fact, late on Sunday, Lydia did actually take a sudden, sharp turn in the direction of the UK. But only AFTER the articles about her had been published. Clearly, they gave her the idea.

Also she just turned straight back again.

10. Also, even if Lydia did turn and head straight for the UK, was she ever likely to reach us within two or three days?

380 miles in 72 hours = 1,000 miles in the next 72 hours. Okay.

Of course, Lydia might still take a turn towards Britain - we’ve had great whites in British waters before, and the species are known for their ability to travel great distances. But there’s no more reason to think she’s heading in this direction than any other. (We will update this article if Lydia starts heading in our direction, so make sure to check back regularly for further Lydia news.)

This has been your shark update. Please return to your business.

12. Update — Mar. 10, 5:51 p.m. GMT: Hey Lyd.

13. Update — Mar. 11, 10:02 a.m. GMT: Lydia, still not heading for the UK.

Also, apparetly Lydia might be PREGNANT. Or might not be.

14. Update — Mar. 12, 5:33 p.m. GMT: Uh-oh.

15. Update — Mar. 14, 11:58 a.m. GMT: Phew.

16. Update — Jun. 09, 5:19 p.m. GMT: It’s been several months since we checked in with Lydia. So… did she ever head for the UK?

HOLY SHIT LOOK OUT FLORIDA.

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