23 Things John Bonham Did During The Quiet Part Of "Stairway To Heaven"

The greatest rock drummer ever was also very good at multi-tasking.

1. Sit Quietly And Wait His Turn

2. Prank Call Keith Moon

3. Hop In The Old T-Bucket And Do Some Donuts In The Parking Lot

4. Consume The Biosphere Of A Small Planet To Recharge His Cosmic Energy

5. Grow And Shave Off One Full Cycle Of His Mighty Beard

6. Sit In On Drums For Another Band At A Nearby Venue After Knocking Their Drummer Out With A Single Punch

7. Listen Intently And Imagine Where The Drum Parts WOULD Go

8. Cosplay As Alex From “A Clockwork Orange”

9. Play The Drums In A Soundproof Room Elsewhere In The Arena

10. Shift His Molecular Vibration Over To An Alternate Universe Where The Band’s Already Up To The Drum Part Of “Stairway,” Perform It There, And Then Come Back Just In Time

11. Concoct And Spread The “Mudshark Incident” Rumor As An Experiment In Memetic Engineering

12. Chip In A Few Chanted Verses From Aleister Crowley’s “Liber AL vel Legis” To Keep Jimmy Page’s Black Magick Curse Against David Bowie Going

No, really.

14. Bed Down The Significant Others Of Each And Every Member Of Vanilla Fudge

15. Translate The Song’s Lyrics Into Quenya

16. Lengthy Bathroom Break

17. Gather A Party Of Stout Bossonian Bowmen And Raid The Pictish Wilderness Ruled By Zogar Sag Beyond The Black River

18. Roll That Shit, Light That Shit, Smoke It

19. Continue His Years-Long Investigation Into The “Paul Is Dead” Rumor – The Very Thing That Would End Up Getting Him Killed When He Got Too Close To The Truth

20. Unleash His Berserker Rage

21. Entertain The Roadies With A Few Monty Python Bits

22. Use His Four Sticks To Sit In For Clyde Stubblefield AND Jabo Starks Over The Phone During A JBs Recording Session

23. Dream Of The Day He Will Catch The Man Who Slew His Father And Justice Will Be Done At Last

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