23 Things John Bonham Did During The Quiet Part Of "Stairway To Heaven"

The greatest rock drummer ever was also very good at multi-tasking.

1. Sit Quietly And Wait His Turn

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2. Prank Call Keith Moon

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3. Hop In The Old T-Bucket And Do Some Donuts In The Parking Lot

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4. Consume The Biosphere Of A Small Planet To Recharge His Cosmic Energy

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5. Grow And Shave Off One Full Cycle Of His Mighty Beard

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6. Sit In On Drums For Another Band At A Nearby Venue After Knocking Their Drummer Out With A Single Punch

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7. Listen Intently And Imagine Where The Drum Parts WOULD Go

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8. Cosplay As Alex From “A Clockwork Orange”

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9. Play The Drums In A Soundproof Room Elsewhere In The Arena

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10. Shift His Molecular Vibration Over To An Alternate Universe Where The Band’s Already Up To The Drum Part Of “Stairway,” Perform It There, And Then Come Back Just In Time

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11. Concoct And Spread The “Mudshark Incident” Rumor As An Experiment In Memetic Engineering

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12. Chip In A Few Chanted Verses From Aleister Crowley’s “Liber AL vel Legis” To Keep Jimmy Page’s Black Magick Curse Against David Bowie Going

No, really.

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14. Bed Down The Significant Others Of Each And Every Member Of Vanilla Fudge

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15. Translate The Song’s Lyrics Into Quenya

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16. Lengthy Bathroom Break

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17. Gather A Party Of Stout Bossonian Bowmen And Raid The Pictish Wilderness Ruled By Zogar Sag Beyond The Black River

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18. Roll That Shit, Light That Shit, Smoke It

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19. Continue His Years-Long Investigation Into The “Paul Is Dead” Rumor – The Very Thing That Would End Up Getting Him Killed When He Got Too Close To The Truth

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20. Unleash His Berserker Rage

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21. Entertain The Roadies With A Few Monty Python Bits

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22. Use His Four Sticks To Sit In For Clyde Stubblefield AND Jabo Starks Over The Phone During A JBs Recording Session

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23. Dream Of The Day He Will Catch The Man Who Slew His Father And Justice Will Be Done At Last

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