1. Sasha Obama
We can’t believe they would let someone with a hoodie get that close to the President.
2. Bill Belichick
This guy has direct access to Tom Brady! He was also once caught illegally video taping other teams. OMG THE HOROR!
3. Ray Romano
OOO. Ray Romano. We are so scared!
4. Dennis Crowley
Is that Dennis Crowley, founder of Foursquare? RUN!!! HE MAY CHECK YOU IN SOMEWHERE AGAINST YOUR WILL!
5. Mark Zuckerberg
Ask the Winklevoss Twins if this is a white guy you can trust.
6. Obi-Wan Kenobi
Obi Wan Kenobi may actually be the only person we can trust.
8. Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber will rape you with his good looks and girly singing voice if you don’t watch out.
9. Shia Labouf
SUNGLASSES TOO SHIA!?? CALL THE COPS!