Paris Hilton — heiress, princess, reality star, DJ, singer, fashion designer, socialite, model, author, producer, and self-identified American ICON — made several more attempts at fame this year.
But it feels like her spotlight might be flickering dim.
Well, you be the judge. Paris Hilton’s 2013 comeback tour included, but certainly not limited, to…
1. Posing seductively as her boyfriend bleeds on a stretcher.
2. Making an appearance on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills only to be identified as “Kyle’s niece”.
Paris took the easiest publicity path and appeared as herself in an episode of Bravo’s reality hit. But her two-minute cameo was soon forgotten, as literally nothing happened and no one remembers if she actually said anything.
3. Recruiting Weezy for her lead single “Good Time,” which peaked at #18 on music charts.
In its defense, it was actually a horrible song.
4. …but that didn’t stop Paris from co-signing its painfully tacky music video.
Cringe through the entire production here.
5. Trying to stay relevant with pop culture, but ending up with the most unoriginal Halloween costume.
6. Completely missing the opportunity to use Coppola’s Bling Ring to revive her image.
The Bling Ring, based off of Paris’s real-life burglaries, was the perfect opportunity for her to not only wiggle back into the spotlight, but exchange the “party-girl persona for something more meaningful.”
Unfortunately, the media wave passed and Paris remains Paris.
7. Taking a stab at a DJ career with 0 background in deejaying.
At the premiere party of her comeback anthem “Good Time,” Paris proclaimed her newfound passion for DJing by mimicking the motions of a disc jockey.
8. Attempting to align herself with people who are a little more relevant.
Paris gets chummy with G-Dragon, K-Pop’s standout star, at a Manny Pacquiao fight.
10. (We get it. This is your new boyfran.)
11. ((And you’re in love.))
12. (((or, at least, lust.)))
13. Trying to shock us with a risqué Terry Richardson shoot… but Paris, we’ve already seen everything.
I think the general rule here is that if you’ve already pubbed a porno, raunchy Terry Richardson photos will not get much of a reaction from the public.
14. Re-promoting her fashion and shoe lines, even though we’ve kinda long forgotten about those.
But as many failed ventures as she’s undertaken in 2013, to Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton is still the center of Paris Hilton’s universe.
- World leaders are gathering in Paris for the United Nations summit on climate change 🌍 ›