“Let’s go the bitch!” You mean, beach, right?
2. Math is the same in every country…but your parents found a way to make it their own:
3. But “teaching” is NOT a two-way street:
4. Some things just can’t be explained…
5. Nor translated…
6. Not married? God bless, because you are hopeless.
7. But, when a boy comes home to meet Dad, he be all like…
“That sucka is going dowwwnnnn.”
8. No matter what country you are from, your mom’s first language is hyperbole.
9. Expectations are always too high:
“You got a 100% on your test. Why not 110%?!!”
10. But you found a way to be good at things other than math:
Certified BAMF, M.D., J.D., Ph.D.
11. “You’re too American.”
You’re always getting made fun of for not knowing how to speak your own language/for not speaking in the right accent.
13. When your parents left the home country, they didn’t leave their resourcefulness behind:
14. By definition, Tupperware is any empty food container that’s been washed and reused.
Yogurt in a yogurt container? Miracle.
15. Your life is one big generalization.
16. Your Halloween costumes were always [INSERT ETHNICITY HERE] princess.
Mexican princess, Egyptian princess, Japanese princess, etc…
17. This happened when your friends came over to your house:
18. Your cousins are your best friends/enemies/siblings/people you aren’t even related to but have no other name for:
19. Traveling abroad means smuggling contraband for your fam:
20. You were never grounded…
Because your ass wasn’t leaving the house to begin with. Curfew had you locked up before the sun went down and your parents punished you with the shame you brought upon your family.
22. But hey, it’s OK…
- And watch a man react to the modern world after spending 44 years in prison. ›