1. The 6th “Oxford And Cambridge Goat Race” took place in London today.
2. So whilst everyone else reserved spots along the Thames for the Boat Race, we headed down to Spitalfields City Farm.
4. There was live music.
5. There was a betting stall called “Billy Hill”.
6. And there were puns.
8. Of puns.
10. And these men, who were dressed as unicorns, had a Baaar fight.
12. Lots of people were dressed as goats.
13. And even those of us who weren’t got to pretend we were.
15. There was time to make new farmyard friends.
17. Time to pet adorable donkeys.
18. And time to learn the difference between goats and sheep.
19. Before long, it was time for the warmup act: The Shoat Race.
Shoats are chubby pigs.
20. That’s Cambridge, in the light blue, and Oxford, in the dark.
21. Oxford was a front runner from the very beginning.
22. Although Cambridge was never far behind.
24. And it was Oxford.
25. As the crowd waited, the goats warmed up.
26. There was a slight delay because Cambridge didn’t feel like getting dressed.
27. But before long, we were off.
28. The race began.
29. There were three competitors: Oxford, And, and Cambridge.
Yep, that’s right: there was a goat called And. This was mildly confusing.
30. Oxford got off to a good start.
31. With Cambridge just behind.
32. It looked like a two goat race. And was nowhere to be seen.
33. He was so far behind.
34. You could hardly even see him.
35. But, all of a sudden, something changed.
36. And spotted the finishing line.
37. He realised all he could be.
38. He decided it was time to fulfill his potential.
39. He saw Oxford and Cambridge in the distance.
40. He knew it was time to show them who the real champion was.
41. So he ran for all he was worth.
42. And he won.
43. Bow down, Oxford and Cambridge.
44. And won the race.
46. Night night, sleepy shoat.
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