1.Morning, beautiful. Scott Baldwin wants to know if you'd like him to make you breakfast? He'll bring it to you in bed – he's getting up anyway.
2.You're out of coffee, but don't worry: Dan Lydiate will pop out to the shops for you.
3.And while you wait, how about a back rub from James King?
4.Tyler Morgan has prepared breakfast for you. He poached your eggs, just the way you like them.
5.Oh, don't get up. Liam Williams will do the washing-up. He actually kinda enjoys it.
6.And you know what? Jamie Roberts will take care of cleaning the flat. Why don't you just take a long shower?
7.If you don't mind, Rob Evans is gonna pop into that shower with you. It's just, you're completely irresistible today.
8.Ken Owens just dropped by to tell you you look gorgeous today. Even more gorgeous than normal.
9.And Luke Charteris has bought you flowers. He remembered the ones you like.
10.Kristian Dacey's rushing back from rugby practice to be with you. He doesn't mind if you haven't made plans: He just wants to spend time with you.
11.It's really nice weather outside, though. Scott Andrews wants to know whether you fancy a picnic? He's been making sandwiches all morning.
12.Justin Tipuric will carry your bag, so you don't need to worry about that.
13.And Tomas Francis will bring the Pimm's. He's chopped up fruit and put it in Tupperware too, so it'll be really nice.
14.Alex Cuthbert's playing rugby right now, but maybe you'd like to go for a long, romantic walk once he's done? He's been thinking about you all morning.
15.And Gethin Jenkins wants to know what you're doing tonight. Because if you're not busy, he'd like to take you out for dinner.
16.But perhaps you'd like to go for a glass of wine with Sam Warburton first? He's discovered this great new place he thinks you'll really love.
17.He'll have to fight off Dominic Day, though. He's been trying out new recipes all week, because he wants to cook you dinner.
18.And Scott Williams reckons he's perfected his chocolate torte recipe. He's dying for you to try it.
19.Cory Allen's made an ice cream to go with it. He really hopes you like it.
20.Rhys Priestland's in trouble with his mates. He's bored them all by talking about how amazing you are all day.
21.Paul James can't stop gushing about how he can talk to you for hours, and yet it only feels like minutes.
22.And you're literally the smartest person Matthew Morgan has ever met. You just seem to know everything.
23.Hallam Amos's mum just called. She really likes you. She doesn't understand how Hallam's managed to make you fall in love with him, but she's so happy you're a part of the family now.
24.Do you want to go to Samson Lee's parents' house next weekend? They're dying to see you again.
25.Maybe you and Jake Ball could take the dog for a walk? It's amazing how much that dog loves you: He seems to love you even more than he even loves James.
26.Perhaps afterwards you could snuggle up on the sofa for a movie and a cuddle with Aaron Jarvis? You can pick the film.
27.Just let Lloyd Williams give you a little back rub.
28.And seriously, stay exactly where you are: Leigh Halfpenny will make you a hot chocolate. It's no bother.
