1. So… Kiss Me?
But also So… Desirable, So… Sinful, So… Eternal, So… SuperStar, and So… Inspired.
2. Cool Cola Hubba Bubba.
Which was what you ate the moment your braces were removed.
3. Lynx Africa.
Mix Lynx Africa with the distinct smell of sweaty teenage boys, and you’ve got yourself a ’00s P.E. lesson.
5. Tipp-Ex pens.
Which smelled identical to Milk of Magnesium.
6. Charlie Red.
And you didn’t just wear a squirt of it. You used the whole can.
7. Scented gel pens.
Lime! Banana! Orange! Cherry! Strawberry! Grape! Apple! Raspberry! Blueberry! Watermelon! Coconut! Pineapple!
8. Blue WKDs.
No matter what you ate or drank afterwards, the taste wouldn’t leave your mouth.
10. Glitter hair mascara.
Which obviously came from either Claire’s Accessories or Boots.
13. Ink erasers.
They made your page go a bit furry, and they smelled like turps.
14. Sunny D.
Which definitely turned you orange if you drank too much of it.
15. Barbie tents.
Like the inside of an airless circus, but without the animal shit.
16. Goey aliens.
Put them back-to-back, stick them in the fridge, you know the drill.
19. Strawberry Millions.
They came from tuck shops and they stuck your teeth together FOREVER.
25. Lush bath bombs.
They overpowered every other smell in your entire house and made your skin unreasonably oily, but OMG they were good.
26. Bath oil beads.
Squeeze them too hard, and they’ll squirt scented oil into your eyes.
27. Next Just Pink.
The smell lasted about 30 seconds, but WOW those 30 seconds were deliciously floral.
29. Millie’s Cookies.
This is what “going to town” smelled like.
30. Lee Stafford Poker Straight spray.
This stuff was basically non-flammable petrol, right?