Yeah, yeah yeah. Everyone loves iPhones. iPhones are amazing, blah blah blah.
You know what iPhones aren't as good as? BlackBerrys.
Don't believe it?
1. Fine. Let's prove it. First off, BlackBerrys came before iPhones. And it's important to honour inventing things first.
2. BlackBerrys have keyboards.
3. Which means this never happens.
4. And this never happens.
5. And this definitely never happens.
6. Removing a BlackBerry's battery is not a physical impossibility.
7. So they're really easy to fix when things go wrong.
8. If you drop a BlackBerry, it won't crack and subsequently deposit glass into your cheek every time you call someone.
9. In fact, if you drop one, it'll probably just survive.
10. And if you get an email, your BlackBerry will blink at you.
11. It won't make a sound. It won't vibrate. It'll just quietly blink.
12. BlackBerrys let you swap BBM pins by scanning another phone's code. Which makes drunken number swapping child's play.
13. Emails come through waaaay quicker on BlackBerrys.
14. You can make BlackBerrys look really jazzy.
15. And they have the world's best games. Like Word Mole.
16. And while Word Mole is the greatest thing ever, it's not even slightly addictive.
17. Look. Biebs agrees.
18. And so does Eric Schmidt, the Chairman of Google.
19. Maybe that's why BlackBerry "Fan of the Month" exists.
20. And why this genius mug exists.
21. And maybe that's why Obama, the most powerful man in the world, is a HUGE BlackBerry fan.
Basically, BlackBerrys win.
