1.
Coming up with believable reasons for canceling plans with friends.
2.
Pretending to listen to ~constructive criticism~ while secretly thinking, "Seriously? You're giving me advice?!"
3.
Letting everyone around you know exactly how you feel without opening your mouth.
4.
Sneaking off to the loos with your work BFF for a power-rant.
5.
Spotting cringe Instagram pictures and Facebook statuses to screengrab and send to your WhatsApp group.
6.
Reading WhatsApps without opening them, so you can ignore people more easily.
7.
Pressing "close" on the doors of the lift while pretending you're pressing "open".
8.
Pretending not to hear what people who are lingering at the end of your table are saying because you don't want them to be there.
9.
Keeping your internal monologue to yourself.
10.
But knowing whom you can trust with the secrets you're not meant to tell anyone.
11.
Classifying new people you meet as that kind of person.
12.
Pretending not to see someone you really can't be bothered to talk to.
13.
Stalking people you don't like on social media until you find a really embarrassing photo.
14.
Feigning interest in something you really don't care about.
15.
Starting fights because you're bored.
16.
Biting your tongue until the person you want to bitch about leaves the room.
17.
Sussing out the cleanliness of other people's homes when you visit.
18.
Pretending to like something when actually you have merely observed it.
19.
Seeing a person, and then instantly knowing what you'd change about your appearance if you were them.
20.
Ranking people out of 10, separately for looks and personality.
21.
And most importantly, knowing whom you can voice your bitchiest thoughts to without losing all your friends.
