1. Price: £100,000.
You could get this gorgeous four-bedroom town house in Stoke-on-Trent.
It comes with a garden, natch.
Or this one-bed flat on Barking Road, which is an hour’s journey from central London.
It is above Andy’s salon, though, which does all men’s styles.
2. Price: £200,000.
You could buy this 4-bedroom Edwardian terraced house in Sunderland.
With original Edwardian features and its own electronic gate.
Or this one-bedroom maisonette in Nunhead.
Which does have double glazing.
3. Price: £250,000.
You could get this five-bedroom semi-detached house in Bradford.
It has three floors and its garden is incredible.
Or this one-bedroom flat near Shepherd’s Bush.
But look how close your local barber would be!
4. Price: £300,000.
You could buy this five-bedroom terrace house in Sunderland.
This three-floor house comes with a conservatory and and studio space in the garden.
Or this two-bedroom flat in Wandsworth.
But, but, but, it does have a balcony.
5. Price: £350,000.
You could get this three-bedroom cottage with an Edwardian turret in West Yorkshire.
A turret! An actual turret!
Or this one-bedroom flat in Hackney.
All four rooms of it.
6. Price: £400,000.
You could buy this four-bedroom detached house with a self-contained ground floor apartment in Hull.
Its self-contained apartment has its own conservatory, obvs.
Or this one-bedroom apartment in Paddington.
To be fair, it does come with access to a communal garden.
7. Price: £500,000.
You could get this lovely six-bedroom house in Barrow-in-Furness.
It has a greenhouse!
Or this one-bedroom apartment on a main road near Old Street.
In a block of 81 flats.
8. Price: £550,000.
You could buy this five-bedroom detached house in Crosby.
Featuring stripped oak flooring, beamed ceilings throughout and a huge garden.
Or this two-bedroom maisonette above an estate agents in Islington.
I suppose it’s kind of near the tube.
9. Price: £600,000.
You could get this five-bedroom country house with stables for four and 2.8 acres of land in Bolton.
So this house has a sauna, a polytunnel, four reception rooms, four stables, a sand area for your horses, a chicken house and a summerhouse.
Or this one-bedroom flat above a shop in Marylebone.
In fairness, it does have six whole rooms.
10. Price: £1,000,000.
You could get this five-bedroom 18th century house WITH A LAKE in Yorkshire.
Wine cellars, a billards room AND A LAKE.
Or this spacious one-bedroom apartment in Mayfair.
It has four rooms. The kitchen looks smaller than the length of my body.