1. When Michelle made hundreds of dollars from her lemonade stand and bought a donkey.
Season 8, episode 6: “You Pet It, You Bought It”
2. When Mickey Rooney owned a joke store and held Michelle and Jesse captive because he didn’t want to spend Christmas alone.
Season 8, episode 11: “Arrest Ye Merry Gentlemen”
3. When D.J. was in eighth grade and unknowingly got married to a Greek boy because she walked around the kitchen table with him.
Season 4, episode 1: “Greek Week”
4. When Joey was arrested for buying D.J. a stolen car, but everyone convinced the cop that he’s a fool and didn’t know better, so she let him go.
Season 6, episode 20: “Grand Gift Auto”
5. When Joey promises to get R.E.M. to perform at the Smash Club’s opening, but it turns out to be a set of 60-year-old triplets instead.
Season 7, episode 8: “Another Opening, Another No Show”
6. When D.J. and Kimmy were 10 and literally put a down payment on a horse and tried to keep it from their parents, but it’s a freaking horse, so yeah.
Season 2, episode 4: “D.J. Very First Horse”
7. When everyone got marooned on an island and casually made camp, then ended up at a concert, so Jesse sang an Elvis song to resolve everything.
Season 3, episode 1: “Tanner Island”
8. When the gang raised over $1 million by singing and dancing on a 24-hour telethon.
Season 3, episode 24: “Our Very First Telethon”
9. When Jesse went skydiving before his wedding, landed in a pile of tomatoes, was arrested, hitched a ride to the church on a bus full of gospel singers, had them sing at his wedding, and paid them in tomatoes.
Season 4, episode 19: “The Wedding: Part 2”
10. When Jesse’s band was unknowingly scheduled to play polka music, but Viper saved the day because apparently he was a polka star as a kid.
Season 8, episode 7: “On the Road Again”
11. When there’s a flashback to when Joey and Danny do a “soul shake” to prove that they’re soul brothers, and a black kid watches in disgrace.
Season 2, episode 15: “Pal Joey”
12. When the Tanner family went to Lake Tahoe and D.J. put money into the slot machine, despite being about 10 years old, and won $100,000.
Season 2, episode 21: “Luck Be a Lady: Part 1”
13. When Jesse was in a commercial and the thirsty producer wanted him to only wear a towel and you questioned why the hell this was a kid’s show.
Season 4, episode 3: “The I.Q. Man”
14. When Stephanie randomly tried listening to the radio in Joey’s car but accidentally drove it through the kitchen.
Season 3, episode 20: “Honey, I Broke the House”
15. When Danny dated a college student, and D.J. was about to enter high school, meaning his girlfriend was possibly only four years older than his daughter.
Season 4, episode 25: “The Graduates”
16. When Danny and Joey dressed in drag in attempts at stealing a stuffed seal from sorority girls, and they ended up in jail.
Season 3, episode 23: “Fraternity Reunion”
17. When Joey got a job on a kid’s program but was quickly fired for hugging the ex-host, who apparently suffered from acute physical paranoia.
Season 5, episode 6: “The Legend of Ranger Joe”
18. When Stephanie called Kimmy a whore.
Season 4, episode 6: “A Pinch for a Pinch”
- And President Obama actually made his daughters laugh at the annual White House turkey pardon. ›