The responses to BuzzFeed’s roommate horror stories article were too good to be ignored, so here are the best (and by best, we mean worst) Community contributions.
1. Mekenzie Jackson:
“I had a roommate who sold my dog. I came home one night, and my dog was gone! She didn’t tell me where he went. Apparently she told my mom he bit her and my mom came over to get the dog. My roommate listed the dog on Craigslist and told the buyer to go to my mom’s house to pick it up… We ended up getting the dog back after a long and confusing discussion with the lady who bought my dog.”
“My roommate once pooped in all my underwear.”
3. Katy Alice (Facebook):
“I had a housemate who wore long Victorian nightgowns and spent every night playing her keyboard on the harpsichord setting. We rarely crossed paths, but one time she was up really early (my usual time), came in the kitchen, made A SINGLE pancake and ate it — sitting across from me. She never said a word, and never broke her stare. She just ate the pancake then left the room.
I’m not entirely sure she wasn’t the ghost of someone who died in 1873…”
“Nothing can top my roommate who didn’t think slavery was that bad because her great-great-grandfather had slaves, and in his will he said that the families had to be sold together. Yeah, that makes up for everything.”
5. Sebastian Haebich (Facebook):
“One of my friends had a rabbit called Hope, she came home one day and her housemate looked her dead in the eyes and told her, ‘Your Hope is dead.’ She had no idea what the girl meant until she went into her room to find the rabbit dead on her bed. Her housemate had randomly snapped and killed it. She left that place the next day.”
6. Thana Fauteux (Facebook):
“I once lived in a house with about 15 other people (started off with four, but random people kept showing up and not leaving), and this one girl would constantly steal from me. It started off with her stealing food and escalated to her stealing stuff like jewelry from my room, then WEARING IT IN FRONT OF ME and insisting it was hers. One day I went through the house and took all the toilet paper, Kleenex, towels, etc., I could find and hid them. Then I laced a hot dog with Ex-Lax and left it on the counter. Took her about five minutes to steal and eat the hot dog. Thirty minutes later I saw her emerge from the bathroom (which had no shower, just a toilet and sink) looking like she was on the brink of death. She never mentioned the mysterious lack of toilet paper, and my stuff was never stolen again.”
“My freshman roommate in college bleached my clothes and killed my betta fish with mouthwash.”
8. Amy Blackburn (Facebook):
“A friend of mine had a dorm roommate that wet the bed — not because she was drunk, but because she had a legit medical issue and ran out of her meds and for some unknown reason would not go get more. Anyways, instead of washing her bedding after each ‘incident’ she just kept putting more blankets on top. The room smelled. The hall smelled. The elevator lobby smelled.”
“I had a roomie who used to scoot super-far back when he pooped, so there would be poop smears all over the back of the toilet seat. And he’d just leave them there.”
“My freshman-year roommate, fall semester, moved her 28-year-old boyfriend into the suite with us for a month. The first night, he shot up heroin (after asking me to watch to make sure he didn’t die — he was apparently a hardcore addict), walked around naked and high, got blood on the floor, sat drooling on the end of the bed, and threw up in the bathroom for ages.”
11. Andrew Nelms (Facebook):
“I once had a roommate who didn’t speak to me for the first few weeks that we lived together. After living together for about a month, he sent me a text telling me he was filming a video with a friend and to not come into the basement or make noise. That made me uncomfortable. I went to the basement when he and his friend had left and found that there was film equipment and the walls had been covered in foam padding. A few weeks later, I spent the week of Halloween watching horror movies in my living room and noticed the parade of guys he brought in; one even went down into the basement for a while and came back upstairs with his head shaved. A few nights later I went to the basement to pee because my roommate was upstairs, and when I got to the bottom of the stairs I found a pair of dominatrix boots. OK. Then I went into the bathroom and found a pair of huge dildos on the toilet tank.
Over the next few months, I found other things, like bondage masks, more filming equipment, lists that gave an overview to the ‘actor’ what to do (things like, ‘cup balls with hands’ and ‘wait’). One day he even sent me a text telling me that I should get out of the house for a bit because he was filming a video and he didn’t think I wanted to be around to hear it.
It turns out I was never officially on the lease (surprise! He never turned my paperwork in), so when I started finding blood in the bathroom on knobs and handles, I peaced out so fast.”
“My roommate didn’t use toilet paper but instead used her hand and I would find poop on the side of the vanity sometimes.”
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