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<b>When you read the books, you realise this guy is kind of a weirdo.</b>

When you read the books, you realise this guy is kind of a weirdo.

How Sexy Is Christian Grey, Really?

Here are 74 things Christian Grey does, according to the books. Tick all that turn you on.

Seriously? Even Anastasia Steele doesn’t like the thing with his mum’s friend. You may want to have a cold shower and, who knows, try meeting some humans.

Congratulations! Romantic, sexually adventurous, submissive and willing to overlook some of his imperfections, you are the perfect woman for Christian Grey. On the downside, he is a tiny bit of a dick and doesn’t exist.

You have a healthy sex drive, you appreciate male beauty, you respect a self-made man. You might even try a bit of bondage. But you wouldn’t put up with that domineering, selfish, mummy’s-boy shit from anyone. Christian Grey is sexy, but you are sexier.

You have seen through the great delusion that is Christian Grey. You are independent-minded. You are not submissive in any way. He is not the man for you. Not even if he pinned 
you to the wall with his hips, pulled your head back by the hair and kissed you, deeply, probingly, expertly, while his manhood pressed urgently against your (continued on page 256)

What are you trying to prove? Billionaires not sexy? Chiselled good looks not sexy? Alpha malenesss not sexy? If you’re serious, there are about 20 million non-alpha males in the UK who would urgently like to speak to you.

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How Sexy Is Christian Grey, Really?

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